this is the most meta thing i've ever seen

So, I need you to watch Oakland Roots goalkeeper Raphael Spiegel (blue) here.

He's up for a late free kick, but when it goes awry he heads behind the goal and get a second ball to punt onto the field.

Eventually, after Tommy McCabe's goal line clearance, he gets sent off. #USL-C

Andrew O’Hagan · Stay Classy: Mummy’s Favourite The late queen can be held responsible for much, but nobody could accuse her of seeming to enjoy her role. For the...

A savage, magnificent, virtuosic and unlikely to be surpassed evisceration of "Mummy's Favourite".

www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v4...

Billionaire halts mass eviction after London Centric investigation Exclusive: Asif Aziz's Criterion Capital hoped to replace hundreds of tenants with more lucrative temporary accommodation. That plan has been shelved – for now.

This is a huge testament to the power of local journalism and @londoncentric.media's work. Bravo.
open.substack.com/pub/londonce...

Drank a full mug of tea by dunking biscuits in it until it ran out. One and a bit packs of digestives, supermarket own brand, just as good as McVitie's. Massive sense of achievement, don't know how I can ever top this moment.

Good?
Is that supposed to say Gold?

Cornershop C90

Happy birthday to Tjinder Singh of Cornershop. Here’s a playlist celebrating their magnificent music
▶️ open.spotify.com/playlist/0eI...

Incredible isn't it. Those guys do the cafe at Surrey Docks Farm, too. The best brownies and lamingtons anywhere.

Reform is basically a suburban petrol station's DVD bin of Tory politicians.

Arteta’s team of ruthless cyborgs malfunction in way that is all too human | Jonathan Wilson Arsenal let game slip against Manchester United and need to quickly press the reset button And then the gap was down to four points. It is still four points, but the thought that Arsenal will struggle to suppress is that it could have been more, that it should have been more. Manchester City have won only one of their past five in the league, but Arsenal have not opened up clear water. Against Liverpool and Nottingham Forest, they failed to take advantage of City slip‑ups, drawing both those games 0-0, and that left them vulnerable to a game such as this. From an Arsenal point of view, the title race is disturbingly alive. Continue reading...

Arteta’s team of ruthless cyborgs malfunction in way that is all too human | Jonathan Wilson

I was in my 30s when someone mentioned air guitar and did the universal mime. Until that moment I had been convinced that there was a type of guitar powered by air, a bit like some kind of bagpipe with strings.

footballer with Poundland James-Taylor on his shirt

me when you get your acoustic guitar out at a party I was up to that point enjoying

it is absolutely insane that Reuters are quoting an LLM as an official comment

There's nobody aged over 28 in either starting XI in the Chelsea v Bournemouth game tonight.

Nice for Clive Tyldesley to get some recognition for a change. A distinctive and passionate voice in a sport that doesn't have either in spades. Good for him.

South Africa vs Zimbabwe 3-2 AFCON Highlights – Last-Minute Penalty Seals Victory for South Africa YouTube video by WEST BROM FAN TV

Thanks. I went searching (what a goal) and found some v v good commentating. Bonus point for impeccable use of the word "lackadaisical".

youtu.be/pd3TkQGuxk4?...

My youngest daughter's letter to Father Christmas is utterly unhinged

One from the archives. I wrote this ten years ago about footballers being played at full-back against their will. Remembered it today for some reason and it made me smile.

narrow-the-angle.blogspot.com/2015/08/leak...

England’s Ashes approach is scrambling the brains of the next cricketing generation | Mark Ramprakash This squad aren’t just throwing away the series, they’re messing up the minds of the young cricketers I try to coach

England’s Ashes approach is scrambling the brains of the next cricketing generation | Mark Ramprakash

So love wobbegongs. Everything is good about the wobbegong. Its name. Its flattened Oscar the Grouch face. Its frondy bits. Its lazy life as a hungry rug. And it’s a shark. Outstanding animal 10/10

A poster on 8.5 x 11 inch paper saga Fishtown fish facts: red lipped catfish or of ocephalus Darwini. Then a pic of that freaky fish with 4 limbs it rests on the ground and then the words “stg this fish real red-lipped batfish walk ocean floor with they flippers RLBF have RBF, not they fault RLBF have a bioluminescent lure that glows to attract dinner RLBF lipgloss is popping, RLBF lipgloss is cool, all the fish keep jockin, they chase RLBF after school RLBF got scales like armor and shine bright like a diamond Red-lipped batfish will teach you how to dougie, I can promise u that. @yaboyni Take a moment And and realize the moment You took has already passed Thank you See you next time

One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.

I’m hearing the list of previous holders of the FIFA peace prize include such luminaries as

The what now?!

[Scene is a MEDIEVAL PLAGUE PIT with all the bodies inside it. On the edge of it is a young peasant woman, in a sack cloth dress, covered in boils. She is lounging glamorously next to the pit. Her boyfriend is standing a few feet away, photographing her with an anachronistic mobile phone] GIRL: OK so I'll sit here... With my hair like this… Rubbing my cyst with the corpse's hand. [She produces a whithered severed hand and starts rubbing it on her face.] [We are treated to a revolting close up of her rubbing the severed hand on her disgusting massive cyst.] [Her boyfriend takes a photo of her.] SNAP GIRL: OK, now write this: "Hanging out at the burial pit, rubbing my sebaceous cyst with a severed corpse hand from #BurtsGraverobbers…” And then: #selfcare, #metime, #BurtsGraverobbers… ... nails emoji, heart emoji, cyst emoji. BOYFRIEND: Um... Should we really be promoting this? I mean… does rubbing a corpse's hand on a cyst actually work? GIRL: Look, Burt's done research, OK? And he's paying us four groats. BOYFRIEND: Hmm. [Boyfriend dutifully taps out the post on his phone] TAP TAP TAP BOYFRIEND: Cyst emoji? GIRL: Just use a fried egg. [Ends]

narrator: 50 years ago...

me: [nods] in 1945

narrator: in 1975...

me: what

Went to AFC Wimbledon today. Wigan brought a kid on in the 77th minute for his league debut. He scored a great free kick equaliser... also in the 77th minute(!) He later scored the winner. I suppose I should tell you his name, given he's clearly the next big thing. Harrison Bettoni.

Screenshot saying "Go to your basket"

Fed up with the John Lewis's website talking to me as if I'm a naughty dog.

The bar called Mort Subite is ace. I had a dark beer with some cubes of cheese sprinkled in celery salt. 👌

Also, if it's still there, the chess bar called Greenwich is v atmospheric.

Happy enough I can even live with the typo.

Surreal London moment: a kingfisher flying alongside my Lizzie line train on the approach to Ilford. Deeply strange to see that flash of brillaint blue and orange with a warehouse as the backdrop. That's me happy for the day.