My allies have abandoned me for the promise of various shit

[gourd chat]
pumpkinlover: saw a nice gourd
squashfather: love gourds
cucurbita: i’m choking what’s the ambulance number

I'm probably in the .0001% of Madame Web viewers worldwide. I've seen it at least 6 times.

A ★★★½ review of Moon (2009) sams rockwell were good. matt berry shoulda been the robot

the other one

it’s fun when multiple cat pfps like the same posts bc my notifications look like one cat saw it and shared it with their cat friends

A ★★½ review of Mute (2018) why did i watch this one first? eh at least Moon was more of a palate cleanser don't make me find Paul Rudd unlikable. don't!

skarsgard was decent tho. and it was pretty visually

TikTok trend filming Gen Alpha hearing a CD skip and trying to troubleshoot it

a screenshot that reads: Bluesky paid you Apr 20 + $4.99 Please... stop posting

finally. royalties are coming through #BlueskyAmbassador

“A Fanatics Experience”. Thanks. I’m not needing to be urinated on, so I’ll pass

me: (madonna Ray of Light voice) and i feel like a garden gnome
executioner (pulling a lever): ok

*caveman discovers weed*
*caveman invents fire*
*stone age begins*

The idealized version of myself, will fix everything tomorrow

basketball is meditation

TIM COOKED; CEOMOGGED

i don’t get this post. is it supposed to be funny

ʏɒw ꙅiʜƚ ƚi ƚɒ ʞoo⅃

Happy 420 I wrote you this fanfic.

CHAPTER ONE: RIDE OR DIE BABY

29 years ago today, April 19, 1997, in one of the most unexpected crossovers in animation history, Homer Simpson appeared on the animated series Duckman on the USA Network. #TheSimpsons

I put the fun in defunct

A 68 year old lady's mugshot. She explains she was arrested for trying to sneak drugs into Canada and still tries to sell her marry Kay makeup

If you see this, post something you saved bc you thought it was funny

math nerds celebrate on 1/5

The cat: Time is circular, so you should be feeding me right now
Me: can't beat that logic

Happy birthday to marijuana

Ask not for whom the baja blasts; it blasts for thee

Me: I love it when you call me Big Poppa

*3 minutes later*

Starbucks Barista: iced venti vanilla Latte for a Brad Pepper!

my grandma has a tuna casserole recipe that’s so complicated it requires a car ride to a second grandma’s house.

If she were a guy her name could be Anya Taylor-Boy

[youth pastor voice, bloodshot eyes]

you know who else blazed it up with his buddies?

searching for “did my energy drink work” in google