If I were the Seattle Mariners I would simply kill myself

All these puppies on the basepaths will, ironically enough, not increase the amount of dog shit on the fiield

DOES DAN KNOW THIS

YOU MEAN BATTERS COME UP MORE THAN ONCE?!? THIS IS IMPORTANT INFORMATION.

MAYBE SOMEONE SHOULD TELL DAN.

Got bark

I also hate Dan Wilson’s job

once again i am asking you

DAN WILSON, EXPERT BAESBALL STARAGETIST

GOD DAMNIT DAN YOU DONT SAVE YOUR HIGH LEVERAGE RELIEVER FOR A SPECIFIC INNING YOU PUT THEM Oh never mind

GOD DAMNIT DAN STOP PINCH HITTING FOR RALEY IT DOESNT WORK IT WILL NEVER WORK

The Mariners are just about to Mariner the everliving Mariner out of this game

Damnit Emerson

Luke please tap

Its not even a joke its a reference stop bullying me

Maybe that's why they call him J.T. Ginn... 'cuz he's always drinkin' gin.

DOM

Warm weather baseball

CALIGULA

A fairly empty TMobile Park

Nobody’s here

what is a jalen beeks

Star Wars-ass name

Qwoolity Start

no don’t post that it’s awful

THIS MACHINE KILLS LEFTIES

I should break out my Sean O’Malley

Rob Refsnyder, I guess

I feel like they should know, at this point, whether they’re giants or not

The Law of Conservation of Pauls

never a doubt

{CHRISTIAN}