And the only calm one is, gone? I haven't seen any signs of him in so long. I don't know what happened. I hope he didn't phase out or something. I miss him a lot. I wish he was here. He always knew what to do. He's why I am who I am today. He's been with me for so long

I need literally anyone in the system who can handle this calmly and with patience do so and none of them can. My body is composed of five no-bullshit, kind-by-choice, ANGRY and EFFICIENT men who want this GONE, NOW, and know HOW but we aren't allowed to

I'm getting advice on what to do tomorrow. I'm taking steps to get this under control as fast as I can while still keeping it on the downlow from the offender

I hate this. I want this to be over now. This shouldn't be happening in the first place. Vermin.

Y'know. The only guy who can actually kick him out for using the place for skeevy reasons

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this I hate this I want this dude to rot. But I have to be the one to do something. I'm literally the only one who can. Cause I'm the one that's here. In the house that's being misused intentionally by a guest as soon as the landlord goes on a 2 month business trip

I am acting as fast as I am allowed to and responsibly should. It's not fast enough to me.

I just got a break. I just got it. And now a worst case scenario that no one fucking saw coming is in MY RESPONSIBILITY. I'm talking shit I dont want to clarify because it IS triggering for most folks I know

Makes me think of shipwar terms leaving shipwar spaces under the reason of some kind of proving morality and/or "Well I'm told this hurts people so I'm against it." Meanwhile it's more nuanced than that

You can't just have DNIs because you heard something is bad in spaces you're not even a part of

I say "here come da ladle" with alarming regularity

Screenshot from the NASA Artemis II launch livestream showing the core stage separation from a camera on the rocket.

What a fucking shot holy shit

I'm worn down from things going much longer than that, but if I can sorta recoup from those at least I can think again

I think I'll be able to find time to breathe this weekend

I dunno if it'll put a dent in how roughed up I am after a remarkably horrendous 5 weeks, but something is something and that helps

We've been together for ~5 years and known each other for much longer. He's pointed out how little rest I get to take cause of other's carelessness. He's seen how I've carved off so many important needs of life in a desperate attempt to get away from people to more easily find time to breathe at all

Mentioned to my BF how I feel like a baby throwing a temper tantrum

He said "I dont think you are. I think you've just been worn down over so many years theres almost nothing left"

With how my desperation revolves around just wanting a small rest more than life itself...yeah. Yeah.

Pen drawing of Butthead from Beavis and Butthead as an Elden Ring boss

this came to me in a dream

#art
#eldenring

I can't believe the "New Yorker" REJECTED this cartoon!

It's a bad night. It's a really bad night. The melatonin cannot kick in soon enough. I keep thinking about shit I don't want to think about so in depth. I just want to sleep. I just want a break from how much this all hurts. I'm destroyed as is. I just want a moment

memory

I'm fucking desperate. I'll do almost anything, and the sole reason that's an "almost" is because I can't off myself. I HAVE to get through this. I HAVE to. I have to get through this

It has to stop piling at some point. It has to.

Okay nevermind I've completely fallen apart. I've been at my absolute limit for 5 weeks, continuously telling myself "Just one more week and I can take a small break" and instead it just keeps getting worse and things just keep happening every one of those weeks

At this point I just feel bad that loves ones have to see just how consistent this is

I feel so bad for my boyfriend. He worries a lot for my mental and there's not much we can do other than preserve, y'know?

I'll have peace one day. Until then, at least the disappointment and defeat is consistent. I'll figure this out

It's insane how much self-hatred distorts reality, even when you know as a fact that's where the feeling's coming from

I know my perception on these situations is being heavily clouded, but that doesn't mean I can see through the clouds. But I can't just wait it out either. I HAVE to move

I've been in a 16-hour car ride with a compulsive liar with a need to one-up everything I say & share. This is the second of two 16-hour trips, AMA (because this person sure isn't unless to spew hot air)

But as of right now, after this trip, I consider them a hazard. Not a danger. A hazard. And they have one of my best friend's hearts in their hands

They want to help people, that's clear. I believe that if they can feel safe enough to stop pretending, they'll blossom on their own INTO the person they want to be

Grant that safe company where it's okay if they doesn't know everything. That you learn so much in admitting you don't know something

I don't see them treating him well. Not with how they are right now. And I believe, with his patience and heart of gold, he could help them relax the way they need to start making those changes on their own.

He cares about them so much. They make him so happy. He's such a good man and he deserves someone who treats him well

I don't want to tell him to say his partner sucks actually. He's a fix-it kinda guy. I want him to know what I'm seeing because, if he wanted to help them and if what I'm seeing is right, then I want him to have the information to help them AND keep himself okay in the process.

And now I feel I need to tell my friend. Because he trusts my view on people a lot, and he was hoping they would pass my read.