a molotov cocktail would hit the spot rn.

🙌🏽

i can't think of anymore posts, so i'm using my draft folder for my shopping list.

I wish I had a basement. You know, for murder and stuff.

women can have a little revenge as a treat

If I could go back, and do it all over again...

*takes a long thoughtful drag off the cigarette

I'd be a slut

life hack: cats

update the app, it worked for me.

I don't write much here because people prefer my retweets

Feeling sorry for myself but like, winking at gratitude -me flirting sorry for myself

if you're seeing this, it's time to put down the phone and light up, rules are rules.

I like how everyone on bluesky goes to the toilet with me so I don't get lonely

if i smoked cigarettes, i'd give you the upside down one.

in the mood to walk into a thick fog and disappear.

disassociating to survive.

he started laughing, then i started laughing.. in the clurb we're all potheads lol

i ordered from the dispensary last night, and as the driver was leaving, he says 'enjoy those' and i said 'you too' 😭

my toast comes with the toaster.

toast in the bath would hit the spot rn.

Just once I'd like to pull someone in close for a hug and whisper a threat

My only useful advice is "sweep the leg"

If Tik tok disappears, where the heck am I gonna watch people eat fast food in their cars in the most disgusting way possible?

If scientists said a giant asteroid was headed to Earth right now I’d just shrug

To be serious for a moment, if you are upset by my idiotic posts given the current state of the world, you need to seriously give your head a fucking shake. Don’t like what I have to say? Stop fucking reading it.

Sorry, got excited. Thought you liked me for a minute there.

I made a joke about plowing fields and now I have a ton of corn bots following me.