Que Taran’s favorite “I pooped my pants” Vince quote 😭 #Survivor50

My husband very seriously just said “his son is gonna see this someday” 💀 💀 💀 #Survivor50

The concept that there are fifty year olds on this season of survivor and they don’t understand that this ungodly long episode is running way past bedtime???

That #Survivor50 sneak peak has made me LESS excited about watching the season than I was before. This is going to be a dumpster fire, isn't it...

Wow. Your move, New York!

“Want Daddy Home”
“Mommy’s here, is that worth anything?”
“No.”

Totally. I find great satisfaction in knowing the name of every single Cars car thanks to my toddler.

How awesome that you were like “hey no one has pics, do they?” And you get this BANGER. So cool!

My god it’s beautiful

I can’t tell if they are actively trying to get primaried OR if they want people to just stop voting altogether.

old Soviet joke for our times:

Guy stops by the newsstand every day, scans the front page, doesn’t buy the paper. One day the vendor asks what he’s up to.

Guy says: “looking for an obituary.”

Vendor says “those are towards the back of the paper, comrade.”

Guy says: “not the one I’m looking for.”

THE RAINCOAT When the doctor suggested surgery and a brace for all my youngest years, my parents scrambled to take me to massage therapy, deep tissue work, osteopathy, and soon my crooked spine unspooled a bit, I could breathe again, and move more in a body unclouded by pain. My mom would tell me to sing songs to her the whole forty-five-minute drive to Middle Two Rock Road and forty-five minutes back from physical therapy. Shed say that even my voice sounded unfettered by my spine afterward. So I sang and sang, because I thought she liked it. I never asked her what she gave up to drive me, or how her day was before this chore. Today, at her age, I was driving myself home from yet another spine appointment, singing along to some maudlin but solid song on the radio, and I saw a mom take her raincoat off and give it to her young daughter when a storm took over the afternoon. My god, I thought, my whole life I've been under her raincoat thinking it was somehow a marvel that I never got wet. Ada Limón

I love how tender this is.

By Ada Limón.

“I missed you today!”
“I miss Daddy”

I love this!!

I told my husband, “By the way, we’re rich now. I invested in pole grease.”

Wretched power scribes at the NYT use praiseful language to describe Trump’s deranged casual genocide wishes

“Audacious.” What the fuck are these people doing.

"[I] know the worth of my outrage, and use it with discernment. [my outrage] is like a bank account with money in there that I can spend . . . my outrage is precious and I want to preserve it and use it in the best way I possibly can, know what I'm saying? so I've been finding the voices I trust, the causes I can give money to and support . . . what I can't do for the next four years is to perform outrage against trump every day because I don't have that much outrage in my account, and I want the outrage that I spend to be spent wisely. so that's my vibe right now."

"know the worth of my outrage." incredibly helpful framing from @samsanders.bsky.social on this week's vibe check podcast with @zachstafford.bsky.social and @theferocity.bsky.social. highly recommend the whole thing but those first fifteen minutes were perfect for the commute this morning.

We're finally dismantling the federal government! Sure hope it doesn't serve essential functions that I've taken for granted my whole life

I’ll never forget when our pediatrician produced some for our six week old in 2022 when we came up empty at two stores. We absolutely love our pediatrician. Thank you for all the work you do 💙

Go Bills 💙❤️

I’m actually pretty sure he’s against transitions…

@rayvonowen.bsky.social just did the most PERFECT national anthem on #SNF I am blown away!!

Venmo is the worst because with no scrolling at all I found out that a good friend enjoyed my favorite bbq spot, which they are well within their rights to do, but now I am jealous and also mad at them??

If you thought eggs were expensive, wait until you find out how much it costs to treat polio out-of-pocket when your health insurer denies your claim.

It’s a “ride home from work in silence” kinda day

SHNOW DUBS!

@FDSportsbook | #SFvsBUF

“How long does your daughter nap usually?” “Oh just enough time for me to do one laborious chore and then sit down for roughly 3 and a half minutes and start to watch TV.”