Oh

UCL injury no doubt

This is some Terrence Howard level math bullshit there

This is your periodic reminder that OPS is not a real stat. It is the sum of two different percentages, which is not how math works. You end up with a literally meaningless number where the only value is “big number good”

Well. If you’re last in On Base % and last in SLG% it would difficult to not also be last when you add those two together…

What a dumb penalty

Is this like the land speed records Chuck Yeager set at the Bonneville Salt Flats? Like we’re gonna roll out rocket powered cars to the masses?

I mean, do they expect informants to work for free?

Space Invaders

Is Tom Hanks on it?

It’s very rare we get to go from “The Onion has a chance to do the funniest thing ever” to “holy shit The Onion did the funniest thing ever!” but here we are

This is wild.

Sounds a little like Chris Rock’s “bullet control” proposal. Though $5000 per bullet is probably not high enough in this economy

“Wife of Gilda Radner’s second cousin” would have worked too

You Had One Job is a favorite of mine

Harris also missed a perfect opportunity to use the word “hoodwinked.”

Some times you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains. And sometimes you get all three!

This Rays Pirates game stopped being fun two innings ago

BAH GOD THATS JAKE MANGUMS MUSIC KING

Random baseball question: who decided centerfield should be deeper than left and right field?

🎶 And it turns out he was missing person that nobody missed all 🎶

Skenes is a bum. Look at that silly 4.00 ERA

And even fewer fucks

Why is Chris Matthews on my TV? I give zero shits what he has to say

“Fa-GEE-ley”

(Bart Simpson dialing Moe’s…)

Rueben Bain is either a DC supervillain or the main character in a Kenny Rogers song

Hezboolah 2: Electric Boogaloo

Sorry I couldn’t get past “suck off the US government”

Interesting. I think Cole Sulser’s best fielding skill is getting tf out of the way and letting his fielders do their jobs