If he admits he has nothing left to say...isn´t it like giving up hope that they could ever do those things together...?

He cried that night, and at least he could think of one other thing to write: "I really wish San Lang would hold me"

Pages upon pages — all written over the duration of days, weeks, months — contain that one centence countless times, almost like a mantra. But he can´t stop, Xie Lian tells himself. He can´t.
Because if he does...

Eventually, he writes: "I want to tell San Lang I love him" over and over again in place of new activities when he has truly run dry of ideas for good

Perhaps it´s his weary mind, growing heavier with silent grief everyday; perhaps it´s the way he confines himself to the inside on some of his worse days instead of going outside to get some new inspiration; but whatever it is, he doesn´t like what´s happening. He doesn´t like it at all.

All seems fine with this arragement at first, but as the seasons turn, Xie Lian realizes with slight panic that the number of random ideas he gets dwindle by the day

However, the notes soon began piling up on every surface of the house with how many ideas he kept getting, so for organisation´s sake, Xie Lian had eventually settled on keeping a book: a diary, more like.

But over time, he amassed so many ideas he had to write them down on little notes in fear he´d forgot any one of them otherwise

It started out as stray ideas that would pop into his head throughout the day, like when seeing a vendor selling fish at the market, he´d mentally make a pin on the idea of going fishing with Hua Cheng one day

#tgcf #xielian #huacheng #hualian

hurt/little to no comfort (comfort in the sense that cannon will eventually pick up afterwards) thread
---------------------------

What if, during the year Hua Cheng was gone, Xie Lian started a list of all the things he wanted to do together once Fafa returned

Remember to eat and drink and get enough sunlight
It's generic advice but I swear it genuinly helps

Virtual hugs going out to you 🫂

It's best to wait and see if you still feel the same about doing something after calming down before deciding in the moment

Having said all that (sorry for yapping so much 😅), I want to conclude that you will always have my and your other fans' love and support, even if times get rough

It's normal to feel bad; it's normal to vent, but don't forget that our most emotional moments will always pass

into bigger/long-term reads/projects as you might have noticed from my recent none-existant up-load schedule 😅
Aspiration and the joy of doing stuff you love just hasn't been joying that much T T)

I swear to pick up the reading I've missed when I get a moment of energy 🙏

This can still be a cold comfort, of course, and perhaps you think me a hypocrit for saying all this when I haven't yet read the first chapter to your new fic

Know that the latter is not in any way because of you
My mental health has been rapidly declining and I've been finding it hard to get

But, upon spiraling, I always try to remind myself that:

A) It's winter. Those cold months are not good for your spsyche in general
B) Think of any time a fic you loved got deleted
You adored it to bits and now it's...gone
There's always at least one person that's the same way about your fics

To be honest, I've been harboring similar thoughts for very similar reasons

I've been playing with the idea of deleting certain works (mostly my first few, or my newest releases upon performing poorly) and completely rewriting others

Out of shame, I considered starting over under a new account

I know this feeling of frustration and fraying self worth that bubbles up in response to a luke-warm reception -- it sucks absolute donkey ass -- and I wouldn't wish it on anyone

But know that you're not alone and that it's not your fault or any sort of reflection of your skill level as a writer

The way I exclaimed: "NOOOOOO, DON'T DELETE" when I read this post :(

All your stuff is absolutely awesome! And I see so many like-minded ppl who absolutely feel the same way as I so 🫶

But from what I gathered in the comments, this spurred up specifically due to your newest fic's stats, right?

Merry Christmas to you too! :D
Thank you for this wonderful art gift to all of us hualian fans 🥳🎉

"How fearsome," some ghosts whisper in awe, "Surely Chengzhu will raise them into mighty beast."

Meanwhile, Yin Yu tries not to laugh, lest he gets fired lol

#tgcf #huacheng

Head empty, only the mental image of a bunch of ducklings imprinting on Hua Cheng and following him through Ghost City like some kind of particularly cute entourage

#tgcf #xielian #huacheng #hualian

"San Lang, Ghost City started calling me something besides granduncle! What does 'the Chengzhu rizzler' mean?"

Oh no, the creature looks so sad D:

Don't worry, at least once HC is back, XL can jam out to both chimes combined -- Really, they kinda make for a great band :D

And should someone ask XL what his favourite music is, for the first time, he could answer without any hesitation or doubt :)

#tgcf #hualian #xielian #huacheng

Xie Lian hanging up wind chimes during the year Hua Cheng was gone, so when he does something inside/goes to sleep/ect., he can imagine the sound he's hearing is HC walking around outside

#tgcf #wuming (implied) #wulian / #hualian

This is my first proper attempt trying my hand at drawing NSFW stuff, and while somewhat intimidating at first, was actually really fun to do! :D

I hope to do more and improve as I do in the future; wish me luck! (๑•̀ ᴗ•́)૭✧

Also, with every session, XL would become gentler. but WM's hair always still ends up looking messy lol

It gives him something to do, something to keep his thoughts from wandering.

With time, this could become their little ritual of sorts: one which they someday will realize, they no longer need to do out of necessaty, but simply because they want to :)

And if I were to think more self-indulgently, I'd also like to imagine that playing with WM's hair is strangely therapheutic to calamity!XL

In a WM survives AU, WM might be able to convince XL to do that instead whenever he has self-destructive thoughts.

Afterwards, WM stands there, frozen in confusion (and happiness), with strands of hair sticking out in every direction, making him look messy and kinda silly

(That look invokes XL's cuteness aggression all over again, hehe~)

Evertime he walks up to the ghost, he does so seemingly without warning or reason (we know the reason), and then proceeds to put his hands on either side of WM's head and just completely dishevel his hair