brave of you to watch maher in 2025 tbh

if they're cold, you're cold. YOU'VE GOT TO TRY TO RESIST THE MENTAL LINK

all bathroom stalls should feature swinging saloon style double doors

i think it's really interesting when my dog sniffs a poop but doesn't mark on it. what was wrong with that one bud

i picture this every time

keurigs always feel like they're really straining to shit out your coffee

the thing about autozone is like, they are right. it is in the zone

when they finally do a biopic on dj trump, they should start in media res as opposed to an origin story. he shouldn't have to "earn" the diaper for instance

the pen is mightier than the sword, but def not the pensword. pretty much nothing beats that one i guess

baby catchers mitt for sale
super worn in

A man goes to a doctor, saying he is depressed. He feels like the world is harsh and cruel, and he feels all alone.

The doctor replies, "The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him—that should cheer you up!"

The man says "oh ok sounds cool"

not all heroes wear capes.. some have food allergies too :)

monk who does flips as penance

you ever watch a UFC fight & think “this wouldn’t even happen if they were all poly”

WHEN WE DECONSTRUCT GOOFUS' FLIMSY NARRATIVE PURPOSE, WE EXPOSE OUR OWN LACK OF PURPOSE

the party of evil for evil's sake hasnt really been listening to my calls, but sure, ive been trying

the idea of an unaccountable party is a really laughable position to hold

elon masc. is this anything

thanks

Time with a Boy Machine

im worried that my life is just one sad footnote in the extended Friends universe

the revised pro tiers for sex are out & it’s not looking good

beep beep! who got the keys to the jeep?
"i'm not sure." i look up, tears in my eyes. "i-i don't know"

how's that messaging working for ya bud

or perhaps a beautiful woman with a terrible curse

latke would be a wonderful name for a whelp or perhaps scamp

look, you can’t just “build" a bear

what is an egg? a miserable pile of secrets

we would drink from the mall hose

hiking the appalachian trail .. thinking about leaving a trace later 😏