A slightly modified version of the Presidents tweet to fit The Twins very FAKE win against The Mets last night

you’ve got it sir, such FAKE NEWS,

If you like what happened in Virginia, you’re gonna love DC statehood

IF YOU’RE IN LINE TO GET CONTROL OF THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ, STAY IN LINE

Me: Isn't this great?

Democrats: Hell yeah. We didn't know we were supposed to fight back

Me: I know. I know...

Virginia voters approve redistricting overhaul to redraw congressional maps Tuesday’s outcome provides a major boost for Democrats heading into the midterms.

BREAKING: Virginia voters approved a constitutional amendment that would allow the state’s Democratic-controlled legislature to redraw congressional districts ahead of the 2026 midterms.

unless and until republicans agree to a ceasefire in the form of strict anti-gerrymandering provisions: fuck them to hell, squeeze every last drop of blood from the stone, lock them out of every seat you can

I am also on a work trip and will try to record something even cooler

two images of the human body's circulatory system. One of them with good cable management

The human circulatory system, before and after proper cable management.

a mascot in a baseball uniform is standing in a kitchen ALT: a mascot in a baseball uniform is standing in a kitchen

I want to cry #MetsSky

New Yorkers got a socialist mayor from Queens and in return the Mets will never win another baseball game. That was the deal.

i once threw up at a smashing pumpkins concert and billy corgan has yet to ask me if i’m feeling any better.

The FBI Director, the DC US Attorney, and the Secretary of Defense walk into a bar.

Apparently like every day.

What if I told you it was actually the easiest situation anybody has ever been in?

Not that it needed to be said but yes it definitely had to be said. Along with every protest vote against Kamala

Fuck yes inject this into my veins

Not a single person of the media will have the gumption to tell him to go fuck himself either

We suck

A photoshopped version of a still of Jesse Plemmon’s character from the movie “Civil War” decked out in Roman Catholic DRIP

maybe his hand bruises are stigmata have you even considered that libs?

i will vote for any candidate who offers up this slogan

A sad update from the peace talks in Pakistan: after 21 hours of discussions with JD Vance, the Iranian delegation have killed themselves

These are the best when there are sports to be watched

Happy Appomattox Day to all that celebrate

Iran posted this. What a humiliation for Trump.

Deals are my art form. Some people get their kicks in different ways, but for me it's always been doing beautiful deals.

$2 million per ship — to cross a Strait that was free six weeks ago.

@nytimes.com
www.nytimes.com/2026/04/06/w...

OJ

Just called my reps and senators in NJ. This is terrifying and I wish I could do more

my youngest grandson returns from The Waste. No food again, just metal scraps. But he's so proud, and wants a reward.

"Tell me again about The Great Before. Tell me why The Green went away," he begs.

"in the Before," I begin, "people had questions about who should participate in women's sports..."

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.