The five stages of grief but it's just me realizing I have to leave my house

Cardio exercise is important to do so you can identify what dying feels like

Imagine how scary it would be if birds really did appear every time you are near.

are you telling me this scallion can rap

PETERBOROUGH STANDARD - Friday, April 18th, 1980 The memories live on CROWLAND'S Silver Jubilee committee was finally wound up on Thursday evening with a presentation ceremony at the library.. The Jubilee fund, described by chairman Frank Parnell as 'one of the finest efforts in Lincolnshire', fremony at the library. The Jubilee fund,. described by chairman Frank Parnet s 'one remony atremony are sony at the library. The jubremony at the library. Tremony at remony at the library. Thrremony at tremony at the liremony at the libraremony at the library. Theremony at the library. The Jubilee fund, described by chairman, Frank Premony rremony at the remony aremony at the libremony atremony at tremony at the library. Tremorremony at the library.remony at the library. The Jubilee fund, described by chairman Frank Parnell as 'one of the finest efforts in Lincolnshire', fn he latched onto a through ball. Although be was hauled down by the keeper he still managed to stroke the ball home. But for the second week running Durant had to leave the field injured, this time suffering eye trouble. The winning goal was another 25-yard shot - again from Blackstones' central defender - coming from their second chance of the game. Gary Cooper, recently signed from Old Boys, had a good debut.

Well, happy thrremony at tremony at the liremony at the libraremony at the library day to all who celebrate

sudden impending sense of doom is so cool they should make other sudden impending senses like maybe a sudden impending sense of relaxation

British person (watching Sesame Street): My favorite is the Biscuit Monster

the way people are staring you’d think no one’s ever brought an air fryer into this gym before

once considered solely the province of heavily armed nations, nowadays even hobbyists and enthusiasts are getting in on blockading the Strait of Hormuz. here's 10 tips to get you started 👇

In Bruges scene where Colin Farrell is pointing a gun at his head and Brendon Gleeson is also pointing a gun at Colin Farrell's head

Current status of the Strait of Hormuz dispute

what the world needs now is to watch the astronauts eat spaghetti

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

I think everyone would agree that the police and MPs shouldn’t be shoplifting.

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

EVERGREEN

If there was vomit on my sweater already from mom's spaghetti I think I would just stay home. No rap battles for me tonight please, I am unwell

This is my all time favourite. I think about it all the time and smile.

Surely I’m not the only one who thinks this whenever they see a map of The Strait Of Hormuz on the news?

as far back as i can remember, i always wanted to skip ad

I much prefer doing my research amidst the flickering lanterns of an old-fashioned library in Prague during a raging thunderstorm with the help of a library ghost, so no, I'm afraid I have no interest in "asking ChatGPT.”

I still don't have a bookshelf with a rolling ladder, so no, I'm afraid your email did not "find me well.”

Me: greetings, Your Highness

Cashier: thanks but I'm not the actual Dairy Queen

on the plus side now i can bring $300 of groceries inside with one hand

how do i put my phone in depeche mode

A person wearing blue surgical gloves plus a bear shaped mask and a long fur coat in order to feed a little tiny baby bear.

I think it's vitally important that everyone know that when baby bear cubs are orphaned and taken to our local wildlife center, they get fed and rehabbed by people masking their scent and wearing costumes like this so they don't get habituated to humans

There is a woman on this subway platform who to the best of my judgment appears to be FaceTiming with a chicken, I quite like New York

the human body was not designed to know what the worst person in the world is doing every fifteen minutes

Just seems to feel à propos at the moment

Please soothe your soul with this footage of an enraged muppet being treated at the wild muppet center.

Afroman trial validating why the Internet was invented

CONFESSION: i am deeply invested in the outcome of the Afroman defamation trial, a trial which i have only known about for approximately two hours