Unsure if you have the softest lips ever so you just never needed it or if you have the driest lips ever because you’ve never used it

A very modern and slick looking white personal hyperbaric chamber that has been labeled Banger chamber with a blue sky logo

This is where I post from

It is with a heavy heart that I post this, according to my cardiologist.

Old floppy drive with printed label 'Works, but makes Sad Noises'

Got my performance review.

What a weird-ass Rapture. Only the Constitution disappeared.

Wait, we have to be naked for this? Nobody told me this, I need another 7 hours of sit-ups before the rapture

"Should we let them know the slide‘s closed at the top-"

"Naaaah, I have a way better idea"

Playground tube slide boarded up and labeled “slide closed.”

i really hope someone empties it out at the end of the day

Better invest in some tissues to dry the tears, Financial Times

a man stands in front of a wall of advertisements including etihad ALT: a man stands in front of a wall of advertisements including etihad

What else would be appropriate to the occasion?

This meeting could have been the rapture

This meeting could have been the rapture

Ugh, relatable *sits down again just for a few seconds*

omg omg i think im being raptured nope just stood up too quickly oof nvm

Would have been nice to be raptured earlier today because why did I still have to go through a whole workday?

if the rapture starts when im on the toilet pooping will i be allowed to pull my pants up or do i just float up with dropped trou

ATTENTION PARENTS: is your child texting about the Rapture? KNOW THE SIGNS:

LOL: left on land
WTF: where’s the family
ROFL: rapture only for losers
OMG: oh ma geddon

LMAO: leave my ass out
BBL: bye bitch-ass losers
OOMF: oops only motherf*ckers floating

Can I be raptured slightly before the pooping guy please?

I‘m gonna be real with you here, the first maybe five seconds will already earn you a few disgusted looks

Well, thanks for the nightmares

When you‘ve lost your house but at least it’s due to Gabrielle Spaghetti

It looks like she’s wearing someone else’s face

The free speech activist who built a list of professors he worked to get fired for their speech must be celebrated for his support of free speech, and anyone who quotes his speech accurately in context will be fired and/or face state punishment by the champions of free speech, do I have that right?

Hospital door labeled “800B - Women's Care Specialists - Mammogram/Ultrasound.”

Proctology is located in A55

So, Eric was part of a sleeper cell?

My initial thought was screenshat but that feels kinda gross

You go, girl!

😁😁😁

There are children present!