Standing in front of the ice cream freezer in No Frills for 15 minutes before opening one, selecting a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, and muttering “Dying Empire” on my way to checkout

Did an open mic and the host said I look like “A Single Dad who pays Alimony in maple syrup”

Hello, I worked in animation for 7 years. Unrelated, I don’t know what you’re all complaining about. The Pitt fandom seems very reasonable and well-adjusted.

It would be funny if they only wrote press releases in this style. “Chiefs from four First Nations are stoked to announce the salmon population has increased since 2025. Thanks for gettin’ freaky, fishies. Stay slippery AND sexy.”

SEIU Local 1199’s “Guide for Rookie Organizers”, from Jane McAlevey’s “No Shortcuts: The Case For Organizing”

“Are you Woke or anti Woke?” I’m Diet Woke. Call me Woke Zero

You were radicalized by basic decency. I was radicalized by a French-Canadian girl with a huge, beautiful bush. We are not the same

Starting a Union Awards Ceremony called “The Labies”. No I will not consider alternate names.

Yep. That's exactly what I'd expect a band called Silly Wizard to look like!

If it were up to me, every movie would win an Oscar 😊

It's 4000 B.C. Your tribe just domesticated the horse. Stirrups will not be invented for 3300 years. You swing your copper axe too hard and fall off your mount. Everyone on the battlefield stops and laughs at you.

A true master chiropractor can cure all ailments with a single blow to the neck, but only if their heart is pure.

KIM KITSURAGI - “You need to get your shit together.”

YOU - “But I don't wanna get my shit together!”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Then the world will turn away from you, and leave you behind.”

Inside of you there are two guys making weird music

Fuck! I invented a bunch of new swear words last night, but I didn't write them down and now I can't remember them!

drinking leftover wheatpaste mixed with toilet wine

Having a threesome with my AI Girlfriend and BonziBuddy

persona au gratin

RIP Tatsuya Nakadai

“How would you feel if the police went on strike?” I would feel like I could steal from a rich guy and get away with it

Opening big wooden crates with a crowbar would fix me

A bunny, dressed like a sea captain, smokes a pipe as he sits on the roof of his tavern in a town by the sea. The tavern is called "The Birb & Bun", and there are a few seagulls on the roof with him, relaxing. At the entrance to the tavern, younger sailor bunnies are on shore leave.

Daily bunny no.3109's seafaring days are behind him

Cinemogged by a guy wearing 3 pieces of DirectorFits merch at the same time

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah

Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen

Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah

Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

Art should reflect the world around it, like a funhouse mirror, or even just a regular mirror

I am not a Scold, I am merely an Explainer. And today I am Explaining to you why I am not a Scold

When faced with a numerically superior foe, try crying and shitting yourself

EGG HEAD - “Skibadee, skibadanger! I am the rearranger!”

They’re lighting the signal-fires for you, bro. From the hilltops to the valleys, bro, an army is being raised against you and your grim hordes.

General Strike? I thought the GI Joe writers said he wasn’t canon anymore