Bizarre antisemitism aside. "Both ships have 30 days of food on hand" Is not a denial that they are rationing. When is their next resupply expected?

So his face always looks like he just woke up because he was probably asleep in his own vomit 30 seconds ago.

If I were an Edmonton fan I would be very nervous right now. I can totally see Connor jumping ship to sign with San Jose.

JD Vance: Who died and made you God's infallible messenger on earth?

Pope Leo: Francis, you were there. You killed him.

Screen shot of nhl.com scores showing Edmonton is up 2-1 and has a Power Play

This might not go the way I want

When Bsky was down I made a new myspace page.

Exactly one year ago today:

Wife: we need to talk

Me: RATE LIMIT EXCEEDED

I bring a sort of Forbidden Vibe to InternalServerError that Rate Limit Exceeded don't really like

trying to post through it rn

Logged in and saw 30+ notifications and was like Oh no!. but it was just all my notifications for the last week were marked unread. What a relief.

Looking at this concert venue and they can't answer my extremely old man question: How late does this show run?

would be very funny if we wind up with a stars sabers final

Wait there's an actual minors team call the Isotopes?

I realize this is probably not all that obscure.

2 grade-a nuclear hot takes hit the TL at once. Gonna log off for a few hours and let you handle this one. I'm too old for this shit.

Fast food extra value meal deals. Just before the 09 crash Jack in the box introduced a 4 dollar combo with the tacos small fries and jr burger. I just saw that McDonald's has a 6 dollar combo with the mcdouble and a 4 piece mcnugget.

I remember when I was like 20 I was talking to one of my friends about her dating life and I was like: You seem to be attracted to emotionally unavailable men, and I really thought I said something.

A white garment with some kind of food stain. Humiliating.

A pair of dirty hands rest on a car engine. Rough, tough, cool.

Here is an easy solution:

Food stains are humiliating, as they suggest you're a little baby who can't feed themselves.

Oil stains, such as those you'd get from working on your car, suggest you're tough, independent, and skilled.

Thus, simply cover your food stains with used motor oil.

Every few months Netflix sends me an email that says "we're increasing our prices to bring you more of the world-class movies and shows you love!" and then the movies and shows are like "Spoon" and "The Girlfriend Club"

From the LiveFromNewYork community on Reddit: While many are familiar with Norm MacDonald saying on Saturday Night Live, "Now this might strike some viewers as harsh, but I believe everyone involved i... Posted by kooneecheewah - 985 votes and 380 comments

I've seen this meme around and I always though it was funny. I've used it myself not knowing the context. I can't use it anymore, that's fucked up. Just FYI if you're using this meme.

www.reddit.com/r/LiveFromNe...

Eating a bunch of 2 day expired deli meats out of my fridge at 8pm after not eating all day while watching tiktoks about how adhd is a super power.

Pulling up to starbucks but ChatGPT is down.

I’m sorry but the rest of your life is going to be spent finding out about some new weird annoying guy, and then finding out he died

This feels like the robotaxi vs trains fight we are in now.

people gonna put lil stickers on their shoes that say “I bought them before”

I'll just file my taxes next year

Notice that ICE has expanded from "illegal" immigrants to literally any immigrant and anyone they think looks like they might be an immigrant. This is inarguably ethnic cleansing.

The lack of major media outcry strongly implies that the billionaire media owners support this.

Clavicular is a 20 year old child and famous for no good reason, not due to any particular celebration-worthy talent. He is a victim of a form of mental illness that is exacerbated by attention. However, if I come up with a good joke about him, I will post it.