a group of women are standing on a stage in a dark room . ALT: a group of women are standing on a stage in a dark room .

Important: did Bruiser the dog win a Tony for his performance in the best musical of all time?

Perfect Saturday night: 👠 👱🏻‍♀️ 👩🏾‍⚖️ 🌳 🎼

(feat. Hans Zimmer) is crazy.

We don’t even have to abide by it anymore why would we study it, Matt?!?

Love texting my bi girl bestie with the Ally™️ husband (I’d take a bullet for him).

@limescooters I promise if you left the scooters out in Chicago winter I’d be a very responsible rider

It’s the hope that kills you.

Packers will get the ball back with roughly 1 minute left will run one or two successful plays and then Jordan will throw an interception.

Classic!!!

Ew the Bears are gonna comeback win 31-27 after losing 21-3 at half. Classic Wisconsin sports. 🔰

Started 2026 as follows:

- ripped my favorite pair of CK jeans while trying to point to where I have a birthmark
- Lyft driver pulled a U turn and missed getting t-boned by literally six inches and the other driver threw a bottle at the car that smashed against my car window

Ended 2025 as follows:

- ripped my favorite pair of Levis while picking up dog poop
- was very friendly to uber driver upon getting in and after a few phrases, he clarified that he has his AirPod in and is talking to his real friends

It’s only going up from here!

Possible the bevvys are hitting a bit prematurely. On brand 😉.

Most importantly, why did we spend half of 9a in space?!?!?

I am coming to the cottage.

Three cheers to Bowen on his last episode of SNL. The first openly gay man on cast for more than one season (see, homophobia), first Asian-American cast member (ever?! Wtf!), first baby hippo. On top of him being hilarious, the representation he brought to our screens was culture-shifting. An icon.

Literally Chicago last weekend.

H O N E Y F U C K I N G D I J O N
📍chicago

The Wisconsin Badgers have won a football game! 😭😭😭😭

Washington, DC is such a beautiful town. Too bad its residents have never experienced it… what with them walking everywhere with their heads in their phones and all.

It’s my fault that’s on me

In this particular era of US history, Canada winning the World Series would be *italian chef hand kiss thing*

a sign that says days without nonsense hangs on a door Alt: a sign that says days without nonsense hangs on a door and Mr krabs changes it from 2 to 0. He is scowling and his eyes change angles when they squint. He is a crab.

Will we ever again go a full week without a major disruption to one of the fundamental services of the modern internet bringing major sectors of our economy to a screeching halt?

So important to have at least one twink in your marketing department.

Matt Flynn is so hot. Love you, daddy. 🟢🟡🟢🟡🟢

Wowzers she really is down BAD bad for that man

I love when I ask my boss a direct question and he answers a completely different one that he made up.

a close up of a dog 's face with a fire behind it ALT: a close up of a dog 's face with a fire behind it

Me after a work happy hour:

“Next shop, Sheridan.”