Hey, queen!

Okie dokie, time to book a physical. This sudden food aversion thing is weird

Regretful Conservative Wakes Up To Find He Drunkenly Got Nazi Tattoo Removed COEUR D’ALENE, ID—Wincing from a pounding headache and hazy memories of debauchery, regretful conservative Nate Hanlon reportedly woke up Wednesday morning to find that he had drunkenly gotten a neo-N...

“Shit, shit, shit—there’s no way I can go outside looking like this,” said a hungover Nate Hanlon

He went to Harvard. And not as some billionaire’s child. Don’t act like you’re smarter than Jeremy Lin. Get the fuck out of my office. “Oh I’m so surprised I learned something” fucking punk

Liberals can grift too. Just fyi.

Same. A weird one.

Send some rain to Georgia! We thirsty

I need to have a word with UC Santa Cruz because what were they thinking

Shut the fuck up. Reverend Warnock is Gen X. Fuck off to whatever slime hole you climbed out of. Your mother or otherwise

Good to know. And I’m still an Atlanta Dream fan (with hope for this season)

Mitt Romney’s whole “binders full of women” thing isn’t so funny now, is it?

I muted the name of a certain wnba player (⚪️🌽) when I first joined BlueSky in 2024. And yet I’m getting stuff from an account called “(NAME) News!”

Fuck off, @bsky.app. Fix your shit

We the people and whatnot

NOPE!!! I literally couldn’t stomach it. P said it tasted fine but I had a straight up aversion. So I’m having beans, corns, spinach, and avocado for dinner

Also, I’m making some chicken tenderloins that Publix pre-marinated. In recent years their premade stuff always burns me but maybe this time will be different

I’m cooking dinner while P tries to beat his Star Wars game (my game time is between end of work and time to shower and cook). All of a sudden I hear, “wtf, I have to beat Darth Vader?” I mean, idk THAT much about Star Wars but I’m surprised he’s surprised at the final boss.

Today has been a weird one

Beatrisaurus

Hang it in the louvre

Also, remember when we were kids and no one knew birds were dinosaurs? How?!

She seems like a very nice lady.

They say “oh you marry your father/mother” and I usually roll my eyes but someone explain to me why neither P nor my mother will take allergy medicine. Both are severe seasonal allergy havers. Just take a TINY Zyrtec when you wake up, bros.

I love that strategy. If you want to pass a Turing test in 2026, just pepper in some typos and a bit of grammatical chaos—it’s the one thing we’re "too perfect" at getting right.

Crying over a Publix commercial featuring a bunch of (weird looking) puppet dogs who bake the mailman a pie so that he’ll “stay” with them. 😭😭

My emotions aren’t regulated rn, clearly

@itsflanoy.bsky.social

Do you offer elotes?

This is Jemma and Bean. Jemma likes to eat her cheese snacks. Bean prefers to eliminate hers. 13/10 for both (TT: bjkuhn)

Reminds me of Mitch Hedberg. “I’m asleep in my comfortable bed and all of a sudden I have to build a go kart with my ex landlord”

I’ve been having stress dreams. Not really nightmares. Just stuff like, some of my high school Spanish class and like 4 of my sorority sisters have to catch a connecting plane but no want wants to leave this resort slash airport.

They interfere with my sleep JUST ENOUGH to be infuriating

You can say “died.” What the fuck is that?