Law & Order: Catan

me when the app that’s always wrong about the weather is wrong about the weather: “hey you’re not gonna believe this but the app is wrong about the weather”

Getting birds whether you fucking like it or not:
- Hush Little Baby
- 12 Days of Christmas
- The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

“You were in the top 1% of Being Miserly with Ha’pennies”

The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future pioneered the Wrapped concept.

GRWM to look for Alibrandi

Waiting for takeaway coffee and it started raining - this huge jacked guy kindly tried to open a big cafe umbrella for an elderly couple to stand under but he couldn’t work out how to secure it so it slowly closed around him like a Venus fly trap

The Sundays doing a sunsmart campaign: And it’s U and V in the summertime

Cut my life into pieces
Lloyd Dobler Diane Court

Another show called The Pitt but it’s a dark, gritty adaptation of James & The Giant Peach

“I’d be so good in an apocalypse”
poppet, you can’t cope with shops being closed on Good Friday

my phone’s screen time calculation should factor in that I’m usually doing some other task poorly at the same time

Manic pixie lyrebird

It’s like 10,000 flutes when all you need is a fife

squirming with tension for 48 minutes: “haha I love Severance”

Gollum wearing The Mask: Smmmmmeagol!

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90s movie trailer voice: “This is Longlegs. And he’s about to find out that having long legs isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!”

Welcome, teens coming here from tiktok. I think you’ll find that through the magic of the written word I am able to craft sentences that are as vivid and compelling as any short-form video!

Pirates in the Severance universe: “Sever me timbers”

Maybe Sisyphus actually thrived on routine

If Ebenezer Scrooge was Australian what would his nickname be

‘Tis the season when I’ll announce the current UV level before you get to the second syllable of “Hello”

Are AIs scraping improv team names because that’s what their brand names all sound like to me. “Hi we’re grok! All we need to start us off is a suggestion of a place you’d hate to take your parents”

Shrek: M-m-m-my Fiona

Uber but it’s all Falkors

McBain: M-m-m-my Mendoza

Romeo: M-m-m-my Verona

Getting furious because your password isn’t working then realising you have Caps Lock on is one of the Classic Minor Humiliations.