"please have a normal response to information"

is about to have an immediately abnormal response, I can just feel it

I finally ovary'd up and told her this stresses me out when she just immediately catastrophizes when I tell her anything, and heavily implied that the things I am telling her are a courtesy, and she's been typing a response for 30 minutes so we'll see what hell I'm about to have land on my desk.

my mom would cook German red cabbage once in a while and the whole house would reek and I would get an airborne GERD flare

"American women are obsessed with the industrial revolution" is so fucking funny to me

undeniably. if I can't stay in bed, no one should get to stay in bed.

I’ve been letting him sleep in on my WFH days and he usually stays in bed til about NOON

A cat glaring at you.

You dare boop?

A disgruntled cat in a windowsill. He is peeking out a little from behind a sheer curtain and there is a beautiful forest visible behind him.

We’re trying to get light first thing in the morning to help our circadian rhythms and someone really did not appreciate being yanked from a pile of blankets and placed in a windowsill today

That’s basically all pro sports and a lot of the time, taxpayers at least partially fund stadium construction and yet claim no direct benefit. The ambiguous “economic windfall,” rising tide/all boats etc. A notable exception (tho I’m not an expert): Green Bay Packers

got Blue first in connections today, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of other gals did too

Well it would appear that one of my neighbors now has a drum set

Every spare dollar will go toward a home on land with no neighbors within an audible range. Shouldn’t be a problem tbh since I’m losing my hearing.

But I haven’t LOST it yet. YET.

I love when Kingsley sits on my shoulder after he eats dinner so I can hear him digesting

What if it was just fried ravioli - like,
just go all in

a man with glasses and a name tag that says stan ALT: a man with glasses and a name tag that says stan

It helped that I was able to procure a perfect avocado. And I only ate half of it because I have self control

There’s not quite anything as good as being indecisive about dinner and then landing on an option that 1000% slaps

the children (my debate students) have informed me that Kanye West was "replaced" with Ye, and you know what, it's not *not* plausible

what's in it for her, though? she already has more money than god and people literally begging her to be a lesbian; she will never not be in the public's good graces

I work with clinical nutritionists and they have to tell people all the time that their kids are definitionally malnourished and everyone is stunned/offended when they're told that; like it's not enough to just eat, you have to eat at least a little bit of some specific stuff

Oh yeah take something of his and BURN IT BURN IT TO DEATH

This might explain why I feel so safe when I wear just plain leggings.

I already hexed him (which didn't work) so that's the best I've got.

spray him with a water bottle

I think one of my toes is permanently broken.

DUDE the amount of times I've tripped on the cuff of my pajamas! Just the other night! And I'm wearing my very wide-legged pants right now and they get caught as I go up and down the hard concrete stairs outside my condo.

I am so bad at life, I bonk my teeth with cutlery all the time. Here I am, eating the last few bites of my overnight oats, full-on slammed a spoon into one of my front teeth. It's only a matter of time before I break a tooth and just have to live with it until I get an emergency appointment.

I know, I've reverted to using the default ear buds that came with an old iPhone because I'm sick to death of trying to keep my bluetooth pair charged

"get cordless headphones" I believe you have mistaken me for someone who works in the private sector

Reedies can't help themselves sometimes

One of those "I have sat at my desk for two years and just suffered with my headphone wire getting caught on my desk chair the entire time and maybe if I rearranged things it would be less likely to happen" days

ADHD: either you live in misery, or I forgot the other half of this sentence

LMAO I used to live in that district. I believe I have heard OF her before, and if she's the reason I don't get calls and emails from Jaime Herrera Beutler anymore, that's nice at least.