this query is heinous like Uranus

There’s a Bug in sys.dm_exec_query_plan_stats. When you turn on last actual plans in SQL Server 2019 and newer: ALTER DATABASE SCOPED CONFIGURATION SET LAST_QUERY_PLAN_STATS = ON; The system function sys.dm_exec_query_plan_stats is supposed to show you the last actual query plan for a query. I've had really hit-or-miss luck with this thing, but my latest struggle with it is that two of the numbers are flat out wrong.

There’s a Bug in sys.dm_exec_query_plan_stats.

When you turn on last actual plans in SQL Server 2019 and newer: ALTER DATABASE SCOPED CONFIGURATION SET LAST_QUERY_PLAN_STATS = ON; The system function sys.dm_exec_query_plan_stats is supposed to show you the last actual query plan for a query. I've…

"is it just me or..."

"check again now though and see if you're still having the problem"

when my ai replacement sees the code base he's going to take over from me

Building My Dev/Prod Demon Hunters Session, Part 2: The Tactics This week at the SQLBits conference in Newport, I'm teaching an all-new all-day session called Dev-Prod Demon Hunters: Finding the Real Cause of Production Slowness. It filled up initially, but they've opened up more seats for it, so if you're interested, there's still time to join! Attendees get a free Fundamentals & Mastering 1-Year Bundle. Register now for SQLBits…

Building My Dev/Prod Demon Hunters Session, Part 2: The Tactics

This week at the SQLBits conference in Newport, I'm teaching an all-new all-day session called Dev-Prod Demon Hunters: Finding the Real Cause of Production Slowness. It filled up initially, but they've opened up more seats for it, so…

we don't talk about how things were before dmvs

guys c'mon the objective is not to hold all the cards

the tech professional inside me is completely understanding about stuff like this, and is actually a little charmed by it

Automate work with routines - Claude Code Docs Put Claude Code on autopilot. Define routines that run on a schedule, trigger on API calls, or react to GitHub events from Anthropic-managed cloud infrastructure.

Hallelujah: Claude Code is adding Routines, code that can be triggered on external actions like Github pull requests. I'm so looking forward to automating code reviews with this - Copilot's reviews have been so bad in the First Responder Kit. code.claude.com/docs/en/rout...

The Blogger’s Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to ignore the commenters I cannot help, the courage to help the commenters I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Overheard at the airport: “most people just click through terms of service without reading anything, and just accept everything”

Guy: “yeah that’s how I ended up married to my first husband”

“wait I didn’t know you were gay”

“I’m not”

"Claude Code is down" is the new "Stack Overflow is down"

Where the Fuck Did My Taxes Go? See exactly where your federal tax dollars went in FY2025.

As you work on your taxes this afternoon/evening, you're probably wondering where your money goes: wherethefuckdidmytaxesgo.com

That's one way to do compression

Azure DevOps is down so hard right now that they can't even spell "storage" correctly: status.dev.azure.com

hey siri is there a morning after pill for deployments

Announcing the Panel Lineup for My SQLBits Cloud Discussion At SQLBits, I'm hosting a panel discussion called 20 Years of the Cloud: What Changed, What Didn't, and What's Next. I'm excited to share the panel lineup - all of the links go to their LinkedIn profiles: Amy Abel - aka the Database Reliability Spotter and a senior consultant at Straight Path. Ásgeir Gunnarsson - consultant at Data Lab ApS, leader of the Icelandic PASS and Power BI groups.

Announcing the Panel Lineup for My SQLBits Cloud Discussion

At SQLBits, I'm hosting a panel discussion called 20 Years of the Cloud: What Changed, What Didn't, and What's Next. I'm excited to share the panel lineup - all of the links go to their LinkedIn profiles: Amy Abel - aka the Database…

Syncing Logins Across Managed Instance Failover Groups Failover Groups for Managed Instances are a great option to replicate data, but they don’t replicate key instance elements – one of which is logins that live in the master database. If …

Reading: Syncing Logins Across Managed Instance Failover Groups andybrownsword.co.uk/2026/04/14/s...

I see what you did there!

Bad Parameter Sniffing - what is it, and what can you do about it? Parameter sniffing has a bad name. But that is unjustified. Most of the time, parameter sniffing works to give us better performance. Except when it doesn't. Due to a bad interaction with plan…

Watching: free video by Hugo Kornelis explaining the pros and cons of SQL Server's parameter sniffing: www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbMv...

Introducing the SQL Server on Kubernetes Operator - Anthony Nocentino's Blog An open-source Kubernetes operator that automates deploying and managing SQL Server Always On Availability Groups, including automatic failover, certificate exchange, and listener routing.

Reading: Anthony Nocentino is doing what Microsoft gave up on 6-7 years ago: www.nocentino.com/posts/2026-0...

SQL Server 2016 Support Ends in 90 Days. On July 14, 2026, Microsoft's extended support ends for SQL Server 2016. They will offer Extended Security Updates that you can buy for 3 more years, either through Azure or your licensing partner. The price is stunning: Year 1, July 2026-2027: 75% of the original license price Year 2, July 2027-2028: 150% of the original license price Year 3, July 2028-2029: …

SQL Server 2016 Support Ends in 90 Days.

On July 14, 2026, Microsoft's extended support ends for SQL Server 2016. They will offer Extended Security Updates that you can buy for 3 more years, either through Azure or your licensing partner. The price is stunning: Year 1, July 2026-2027: 75% of the…

A Futuristic Glass Home Built From a Gaming Vision A futuristic all-glass home in Kirkland, Washington, transforms a crystal-inspired vision into reality.

I feel anxious and unsettled just looking at this house, let alone thinking about living in it. The interior pictures are horrifying. www.contemporist.com/a-futuristic...

how your email finds me

[Video] Fragmentation Explained in 20 Minutes at SQLBits - Brent Ozar Unlimited® What does fragmentation mean? How does it happen? Can you fix it with fill factor? Should you rebuild your indexes to fix it? At the SQLBits conference, I tried a new way of explaining it using…

SQL Server fragmentation explained in 20 minutes with whiteboards and an overhead camera: www.brentozar.com/archive/2022...

Announcing More Improvements to PasteThePlan.com Need to share an execution plan, like on forums or on Stack Overflow, and you wanna get their advice as quickly as possible? Paste the XML into PasteThePlan.com and you get a link that you can share to anyone with your plan's details. The user interface is now cleaner, with separate tabs for query plan, query text, AI suggestions, raw XML, and your recent plans:

Announcing More Improvements to PasteThePlan.com

Need to share an execution plan, like on forums or on Stack Overflow, and you wanna get their advice as quickly as possible? Paste the XML into PasteThePlan.com and you get a link that you can share to anyone with your plan's details. The user…

my drag name will be Negroni Calamari

SQL P2V: What Really Killed the Dinosaurs - Brent Ozar Unlimited® Say we have a physical database server sitting over there in the rack.  For the sake of discussion, let’s pretend it’s a slightly older model, a HP DL380 G2 with a couple of P3 CPUs, 4gb of ram, and…

Old post circa 2008 talking about getting rid of legacy boxes by virtualizing them: www.brentozar.com/archive/2008... Amusing to look back about 20 years, see the problems we were dealing with then, and they're still not that different today.

PASS Recap: Interview with Val Fontama - Brent Ozar Unlimited® Next up in my PASS Summit interview series is Microsoft’s Val Fontama. Val focused on the new Parallel Data Warehouse Edition of SQL Server 2008R2, formerly known as Project Madison. I was really…

Was reminded today of the old Parallel Data Warehouse, and my thoughts about it at launch: www.brentozar.com/archive/2009... Chuffed to look back and read that my analysis was bang on.