@harrisfootball.com I feel like the NFL could have squeezed in some pre-game cock fights

“Do not get lost in a sea of despair.”

- John Lewis #RIP

@harrisfootball.com Parkinson… not exactly elite hands tonight

You know, Shaheed has been a great addition…

Oh, do you think that the 2 TD returns have helped of late?

Absolutely!

Herbstreit just legitimately summoned the ethereal legend of Sam Bradford on live television

It is exhausting drivel, and wears not only on my enjoyment of the game, but my soul

@harrisfootball.com I would like to offer a new nickname for our dear friend, Kirk Herbstreit: vinegar enema.

Some acids are slight on the pH scale, however under the right conditions, can create impact through chemical activation.

Herbstreit’s voice is that percolating discomfort, anus bound.

@harrisfootball.com Happy Thanksgiving, Chris! It is a wonder that the “little podcast that could” has created such impact in the lives of so many since its inception. I could not have dreamed that one day I might behold your waxing poetic about proper care of man parts. And for that, I am grateful!

@harrisfootball.com Kirk Herbstreit in: Master of the Obvious. Now streaming, on Amazon!

@jaketrowbridge.bsky.social Amazon blowing heavy smoke up our asses tonight with this “top” league matchup

The call of social workers, and those in helping professions

@harrisfootball.com When I’m off the clock, but my mind is still reeling with clinical documentation to be completed, I like to listen to the sweet and sultry voice of one Christopher Harris.

#architectureofthesoul
#nowaitsomeblueskytypeshit

@harrisfootball.com I made a piece of toast, placed it in the bed beside me, and it in fact emits an aura equal to Kirk Herbstreit’s commentary

@harrisfootball.com Were you aware that Tonyan is on the Chiefs’ roster?

💦

He’s lying if his lips are moving.

The sequel was perhaps better than the first one

NBA: promotes drinking on every level.

NBA also: astonished when it’s “children” partake in drinking.

@harrisfootball.com Hard to believe that the Muscle Hamster is gone. It seems as though quite a few young, former professional athletes have been in the news of late in this way.

Without much detail, it makes me wonder about the scope of services available through the NFLPA post playing career.

Especially when it comes to subverting sports gambling charges

When can we talk about Ohtani’s gambling problem?

@harrisfootball.com Kirk Herbstreit’s mouth runs like a hamster with diarrhea

It’s become an incredibly sad and tragic near daily occurrence, and we’re all becoming more desensitized except when it impacts close to home. Everyone, namely our children, deserves far better.

@harrisfootball.com Whilst in a bathtub filled with euros, Goodell has been receiving a handy for the entire duration of this 4th quarter.

😞

@harrisfootball.com sometimes the neighbors kid wanders by the house, and mischievously calls out “Dortch!”

@harrisfootball.com There is absolutely nothing about Louis Riddick’s commentary that results in me thinking he is qualified to work as a coach or GM in the league

@harrisfootball.com I can’t help but feel that these have been some of the best early season games of the National Fuckery League. Buttered crack.

True, and, does a process that he continuously hinged on illegitimate claims not raise suspicions of legitimacy of that election and those figures?