The bookmobile is providing ride share as a side hustle. Don't throw up on the books, please. — Banned Library The library is offering free tax help and a new installment of Library & Order.

The library will no longer even consider putting self-published books on our shelves. Ask your AI of choice why.

The library has been sitting beside a large body of water for days not reading the news.
How's everyone else been?

Library tip of the week:
Don't use momma's sewing scissors. Like, at all.

The circulation desk lives on your tears. Since we went fine free it has been dying. — Banned Library An update on the library stapler and glowing tome as well as an oral history about an encounter with a drunken bear.

The library will be closed for professional development Monday, April 13. The knives don't sharpen themselves.

Reference went to a fancy private school and doesn't understand how Children's can believe ketchup is a fruit and potato chips are vegetables.

The library still thinks this should be a children's book with all proceeds going to children's hospitals.

The library wants to remind everyone that playing pranks in the building Wednesday, April 1st, will end in pain and screaming and a permanent ban. — Banned Library This week’s newsletter contains information about Fool’s Day and Eostre celebrations as well as an itinerary for the Spring Survival Reading Program.

The library wants to remind everyone that playing pranks in the building Wednesday, April 1st, will end in pain and screaming and a permanent ban.

The circulation clerk will call your number when the next librarian is available.
Your number is how many books you've checked out in your life.

Cross fingers for 2030

No open flames in the library! We'll donate it to the ACLU.

To be fair, the rest of the assholes on the currency could use an update as well. Maybe less slave owners and cultivators of atrocities.
Nobody, just a nice landscape, on the $1
Lincoln can stay on the $5
Frederick Douglass for the $10
Mr. Rogers for the $20
Dolly Parton on the $100

The library tip jar will not accept bills signed by that dingbat. As if there was anything more that could be done to lower the worth of US currency.

Today they banned my book. It was not the first. It won’t be the last. Here’s what I want you to know. This is not what I wanted to write. I wanted to write about how I’m about to go on book tour for my new book in a few days. Instead I am writing about the fact that I was just informed that m…

Today they banned my book. Here’s what I want you to know: thebloggess.com/2026/03/25/t...

The only "Boy Who Lived" in the library is Able Peters, 13, who has been struck by lightning sixty-two times. In the head.

The library bookmobile is providing ride share as a side hustle. Don't throw up on the books, please.

The library has an opening for a cult librarian to do the ritual chanting at dawn and dusk each day. Inquire within.

We should replace every CEO with AI and save several trillion dollars annually.

Turns out the main job of the C class is to suck up money from companies and investors. And suck each other's d**ks while they "deal."

Remember when SAVE meant student loans might be easier?
This administration will ruin everything it can.

Dear billionaire class,

Cancer and general research may save you, too, dumbasses.

Kthxbye,
Library

Story time this week will be a story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world. It's a banger. — Banned Library The library has updates on St. Patrick’s Day, the equinox, various programs, and a sample of a library interview.

Story time this week will be a story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world. It's a banger.

That fence is 4ft.

Not a zoo, behind my apartment.

Two wild cats next to a chain link fence.

The library knows spring has arrived when the wild cats start making sweet love sounds in the middle of the day.

Grass is on the wrong side of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris didn't lose his life. He knows exactly where he put it.

Chuck Norris joined the choir invisible, and they will be playing Cleveland next week.

Chuck Norris went swimming and now it's called "Chuck Norris's Locker."