She’s alive. ALIVE.

In 💅🏻

Nothing speaks to the current state of Christianity more than the fact that atheists can give Pope Francis credit for trying to follow the teachings of Jesus while “Christians” like Marjorie Taylor Greene celebrate his death because he challenged her to do the same.

Hi friend! Me too!!

Are you listening, @nbcbayarea.com ?!?!

David Hogg needs to get a job in the private sector and leave us alone.

Can’t wait to watch in just over an hr. 💫

Dateline is when it’s painful to be a west coaster. 😭

If I’m murdered and my story is on #Dateline and they don’t use my most flattering photos, I will haunt every MF involved for eternity.

Back at ya.

We all are like that I think.

Me too

You’re gonna make all the stoners go wild 💨

I’m still alive. Just not here much.

The CIA quietly adding a breathalyzer to Pete Hegseth's official government phone

The Trump Administration Accidentally Texted Me Its War Plans U.S. national-security leaders included me in a group chat about upcoming military strikes in Yemen. I didn’t think it could be real. Then the bombs started falling.

JFC have you guys seen this?

Imagine if Biden’s administration had done this. www.theatlantic.com/politics/arc...

octopus? you mean submarine spiders

When my daughter was born, the nurse said "what a beautiful baby" she looked at me and said, "she must look a lot like her father"

Silly bitch logging on

Get in line

I was in the store in my scrubs looking a mess. And then I see this dog slaying.

That Isn’t As Funny As I Thought When I Was High: A Memoir

My 12 yo old perfect autistic son has been investing his allowance in the stock market for the last 9 months and has made more gains percentage wise than I have in my 48 years.

💅🏻

Stop what you’re doing and look at this baby I just met in the grocery store.

LMFAOOOO 💕

🥹🩷 Thank you 😭

If you see a man looking stressed ask him if if’s because he’s a disappointment

My patient sent a letter to my hospital saying I’m an angel in disguise.

So I expect an Oscar nod for this.

So high I just gave the little floater in my eye a whole identity and a character arc.

Whoa. In the city?

Oh wow. I felt nothing at home in SF.