I wonder how many phone numbers I'll have to block before I stop receiving 10-15 spam calls/texts every day. Perfectly functioning government we have protecting consumers.

"qualified impunity"

Landlord has people here working on the electric garage door opener which was initially installed so poorly that it couldn't lift the door, and on the central air which currently runs for 14 hours straight struggling to keep the house under 81° until after sunset. May they all succeed.

We've had that spirit here once since 1969

Swaggy Doink

Vientos - the Outmaker

If you believe that certain athletes "can't play in New York" then by extension certain teams can't play in New York either and unfortunately this post could be about like 5 or 6 professional sports franchises

The Mets have a 1-run lead in the 5th inning. We better not let their fans feel too good. - The Fates

The "por qué no los dos" hero we need right now

Por qué no los Dos Francisco?

a man wearing glasses and a jacket is standing in the snow and says `` i am once again asking '' . ALT: a man wearing glasses and a jacket is standing in the snow and says `` i am once again asking '' .

for the PA system to play "Hot In The City"

My TV froze when I put on the Mets game forcing me to unplug everything which I took as a sign

that they're going to break the streak tonight!

Maybe the Mets should try hockey and the Rangers should try baseball

I noticed Willie Randolph was at the Knicks playoff game the other night he must've been thinking if he just puts himself out there he might get his old job back

Devon Aoki as Dominique in DEBS, smoking a cigarette while brandishing a handgun

His problems started when his parents spelled Devin with an "i."

Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

Don't worry, even my dog doesn't get it when I call her "Cruise Director Droolie McCoy."

Whenever I tap on the MLB app it opens my web browser to "MLB shop" this is a violation of my fargin rights

Howard Dean's campaign for President ended in 2004 because he screamed "Keaschall!" and 22 years later the Twins have a player named that.

Simeon Woods Richardson threw his 69th pitch in the 4th inning I hope this game doesn't go 20 innings

Back when I used to scream things at MLB players I once yelled "next time don't forget to take the cheeseburgers out of your pants pockets!" at Reggie Jefferson as he was "running" to first base.

Lindor Truffle Shuffle

Nolan McLean appearing on a TV screen just beyond my feetsies

Let's see if I can upload this picture of Nolan McLean between my legs

Mew get back there and add alt text right meow!

Incredible shots of the exchange between Rep. AOC and RFK, Jr. at today’s congressional hearing.

(image credit: WSJ reporter @lizessleywhyte.bsky.social)

I don't know if they were better but I do know their failure was easier to get angry about because you could simply point to the payroll and say "if they'd only signed _this_ guy"

Respect to the dudes who have been hammering on the roof across the street for 10 hours 40 minutes and are still going I hope you're being well compensated.