Sometimes he'll say "let's talk sports, pal!" that means he wants to discuss if the TB12 Method "really works".

Sometimes after work my boss Dr. Jones will ask me to go out for drinks with him. Before we enter the bar he always slips me a hundred dollar bill, and then once inside I get every other round. He pretty much exclusively addresses me as "pal" at the bar, sometimes he experiments with "buddy".

People have to stop calling me a "performative male" for spending my afternoons on city patios with my copy of "The King of Content: Sumner Redstone's Battle for Viacom, CBS, and Everlasting Control of His Media Empire."

That's true. But he'll just start eating any book you give him. Also I don't believe he has seen Jupiter Ascending, so I'm not particularly interested in hearing his opinions on its internal logic.

There's just something severely off-putting about someone obviously reciting image macros to you as if they were original thoughts. Also like why the fuck do you care about seed oils so much, I see you chew on a can all day?

There is a village in Slovenia with a goat that can speak English. But you're going to be disappointed. The novelty wears off quickly and the goat is just an annoying guy. He recites complaints about plot holes in movies he clearly saw online, and is consistently weird about women.

For my role in proceedings I received a guaranteed one time payment of fifty thousand dollars, and a motoring cap of his that "all the ladies had loved". I protested I had no issues on that front, which led to a book on the importance of honesty being added to my inheritance.

My great-uncle tasked me and seven other young men he judged to be "trustworthy virgins" to go around with spoons at his funeral and collect the tears of his family members. His estate was then divided up based on how much each person cried, assuming they didn't cry too much, a sign of weakness.

Late in the video as the couple are trying on bathing suits in front of the camera and partaking in some light foreplay you can distinctly make out me saying "everyone here is so nice and smiley" in the next room of the suite. It is unclear who I am speaking to.

In what the fans of this kind of entertainment later took to calling "the balcony scene" you can hear the couple tell each other not to pick up as I repeatedly call both of them. The musicians had started playing by the pool and I didn't want them to miss it.

My only brush with fame was appearing in the background of a few scenes of two reality stars' vacation sex tape. I just happened to be on holiday with them. In one scene they are filming themselves making out on a yacht and you can hear me talking about how "fruit is better here".

Guy in full leather wear and a codpiece turning around at the door when he realises slutty just meant like little black dresses and undoing an extra button on your party shirt.

Wow, thanks so much for showing me this "Art". Just what I needed - to be drawn more deeply into the World of Illusion.

I was a large lad, and had no extraordinary talent for academics, so wrestling seemed a fine way to earn my daily bread. I did not appreciate them claiming I hailed from "parts unknown", I was proud to grow up in Saint Joseph's Orphanage for Sizeable Boys, but the promoters thought it a mouthful.

The two periods of questionable mental health I have had were the six months I understood myself to be roommates with the Pink Panther cartoon, and the minor breakdown I had when I received a cheque six years later from the Panther for two months unpaid rent. I cashed it. I was unwell, not crazy.

Quite right.

I was a large lad, and had no extraordinary talent for academics, so wrestling seemed a fine way to earn my daily bread. I did not appreciate them claiming I hailed from "parts unknown", I was proud to grow up in Saint Joseph's Orphanage for Sizeable Boys, but the promoters thought it a mouthful.

Come having had... a big ass drink. An experience you won't want to miss out on.

The two periods of questionable mental health I have had were the six months I understood myself to be roommates with the Pink Panther cartoon, and the minor breakdown I had when I received a cheque six years later from the Panther for two months unpaid rent. I cashed it. I was unwell, not crazy.

When I was sixteen a naval recruiter asked me whether I fancied myself a "strong lad"? I told him I didn't fancy myself at all, only person I fancied was Molly from two farms over, but she never even looked at me on account of me father's sheep thieving. Navy man nodded and left.

I find it insulting when somewhat charismatic depressive alcoholics online post photos of me in the background of the three differently motivated coups I took part in, and ask "Why'd everyone want homie around?" I was a fun guy, people liked my energy off the bench, I didn't step on any toes.

Before yoghurt came along, it was impossible to eat milk because it was far too loose. Nowadays, the average punter will eat about a kilo of yoghurt per day.

Ppallo's Basilisk is a cute little reptile guy. He allows the local children to pull his tail once every summer, producing little fireworks from his mouth. Old people enjoy his company, as his mere presence provides a feeling of serene vitality.

the lady ahead of me in line was discussing her vacation plans with the postmaster and then when she wrapped up he was like "where's my kiss?" and they kissed and she turned to everyone else and said "he's my ex" and everyone was like aww

Also by the third time I had a good rapport with the folks at the TV station. One of the switchboard operators fixed my beret before we went live. She told me I had lost weight, a kind lie.

I find it insulting when somewhat charismatic depressive alcoholics online post photos of me in the background of the three differently motivated coups I took part in, and ask "Why'd everyone want homie around?" I was a fun guy, people liked my energy off the bench, I didn't step on any toes.

It's going to be real freaky if a long torso'd woman with neo-mystic interests and a private airplane she is looking to flip enters your life soon.

I was briefly hopeful for the last member of the side (kids) table, an older colleague of Cecily's husband she described as an "Irish Republican". But when he arrived late in a Kilkenny GAA shirt and MAGA hat, hope dissipated.

Dinner again yesterday. The cousin was dressed as Vegeta when he wore the pink shirt, but got frustrated it wasn't getting a reaction, left, and came back twenty minutes later as Kid Buu. Brantford, Cecily's fourth favourite out of four, did his best though, he is "considering joining Band".