Congratulations on the pole position of these three lanes! 😉
Posts by Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons
Love is Blind — Bear Edition 🐻 2/2
This would NOT make it past Episode 1.
Too much pixelation.
Doing this live tomorrow at Sunday Night Funnies
Grand Rapids · 7PM · Free
Info: www.alfonsmueller.com
#Comedy #StandUp #GrandRapids #Bear #LoveIsBlind
Love is Blind — Bear Edition 🐻 1/2
This would NOT make it past Episode 1.
Too much pixelation.
Doing something like this live tomorrow at Sunday Night Funnies
Grand Rapids · 7PM · Free
Info: www.alfonsmueller.com
#Comedy #StandUp #GrandRapids #Bear #LoveIsBlind
🏳️🌈 Medieval Gay Courtship… but make it conservative. ⚔️🐎
No eye contact. Just aggressive circling.
Live tonight: Prison City Comedy Hour
📍 Bone Island Grille, Jackson, MI
#StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy #LiveComedy #QueerComedy #ComedyReels
Upcoming shows that will leave a mark 🎤
Live dates across Michigan.
Come in by - see a Jobless Person dealing with their Stuff!
#standup #comedy #livecomedy #michigan #events
Last Friday at Turtle Cat Comedy, Ann Arbor watched me explain how AI is doing my job search while AI is doing the hiring.
2 robots making sweet Live
& I am the T&C nobody read. 🤖
Next Show: Wednesday April 8th. River City Saloon. Grand Rapids.
#StandupComedy #GenX #AIHumor #GrandRapids #Comedy
Tony #Soprano wants his tracksuit back.
He’s gonna have to be more specific about which occasion.
Turtle Cat Comedy. Tonight. Ann Arbor. 9pm. $15. Hear.Say Brewing + Theater, 2350 W Liberty St.
#standupcomedy #annarbor #comedyshow #turtlecatcomedy
I performed the first standup set in Beardance history at TBRU 30.
I talked about Pokémon🐻, Love Is Blind Hairy Edition, and why threesomes are just sexualized soap operas.
▶️ youtu.be/cuW3wocR7vY
This Friday: Headlining @ TurtleCat Comedy,
Ann Arbor, MI
All Info: www.alfonsmueller.com
Alfons Mueller Facebook post on last day at Robert Bosch Tool Corporation: Got terminated. Last meal at the company cafeteria? To go. — comedian headlining Ann Arbor Friday
Got terminated!
Last meal at the company cafeteria? to go.
Tomorrow: last day in the office
Friday: last day on payroll
Friday night: headlining comedy in Ann Arbor
the linkedin post about it: www.linkedin.com/posts/alfons...
Tickets & Show Info:
alfonsmueller.com
Bearded plus-size comedian OnlyFons on a massive Times Square New York City corner billboard announcing his new OnlyFans comedy account — neon text reads "Finally: OnlyFons Comedy is Now on OnlyFans
OnlyFons is now on OnlyFans. 🐻🎤
Not PG. Not X-rated. Just comedy.
The kind you can explain to your partner, your mum, and — should the situation arise — your corrections officer:
"I'm just there for the Comedy!" 😇
👉 onlyfans.com/only_fons_comedy
#OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #Bear #Queer #Comedy
Looking forward to tonight’s show 🎤
Strong lineup and a room I’m genuinely happy to be in.
Grand Rapids • 6:30 PM
#standupcomedy #livecomedy #grandrapids
Alfons Müller in an Overall, Tank top with a basecap in a Photo Studio Setting. Wooden Floor, Dark Background
Alfons Müller in an Overall, Tank top with a basecap in a Photo Studio Setting. Wooden Floor, Dark Background
New Awesome Photos of me:
Rocking Redneck Drag!
Abs for Days! 👏
Major respect for the achievement! 💪🏼
Beardance BellyLaughs made my inner Bear jiggle!
Loved to perform yesterday!
Also: #StrappMetal to make me look ripped!
#StandUp #Comedy #TBRU
Life lesson:
Do not drink mushroom coffee before a 3-hour Midwest drive. ☕️🚗
Lion’s Mane turns the highway to Kalamazoo into a speedrun of 13 bearable bathrooms.
Anyway — tomorrow I’m performing at TBRU BearDance in Dallas. 🎤
#standup #bearcommunity #tbru #comedian #midwest
354
🐻 TBRU roll call: Who is coming?
I’m performing Friday at Beardance during TBRU.
Preview clip: a German immigrant discovers the horror of American 1-ply toilet paper 🧻
Solution: toilet paper origami.
#TBRU #BearCommunity #Dallas #StandUpComedy #BearDance
POV: A German migrant explains
1️⃣ Limp Bizkit vs MAGA
2️⃣ How to stop Trump from annexing places
3️⃣ Why Iceland felt safer
Now back in Kalamazoo tonight at Brewery Outre 🍻
Pull up.
#ComedyTok #PoliticalComedy #Iceland #MidwestComedy #ForYou 🇮🇸🔥
Quick minute from an incredible Saturday night with “Comedy in Iceland”
🇩🇪❤️🇮🇸
I brought the Northfolk:
• Romance
• Love
• Cultural appropriation
• And a PhD in sexual irresponsibility
They laughed. Hard.
Full 8-minute on YouTube.
🎥 youtu.be/0rPayrKpeSs
#StandUpComedy #LiveComedy
#OnlyFons
Quick Intermission regarding the #MAHA Ad.
#MakeR🍇pistNastyAgain
P.S.: how many kids could have been fed with these Millions?
Excuse me?!
Person!
PERSON!
My eyeS are up here!
☝🏻
Vom alten “Boots” zum “Re-Boots” – was lief, was nicht 😉. Morgen: “Comedy Bubbles” Stuttgart, 19:30. Fast aus-reserviert!
Kommt vorbei! 🇩🇪✨
Sagt mir Goodbye!
#ComedyBubbles #StuttgartComedy #GoodbyeDeutschland
#StandUp
Ich esse Frikadellensemmel und Pfälzer Saumagen
und danach gibt’s mein letztes Deutschland-Set dieser Reise.
🕢 Morgen Sonntag • 08.02.2026 • 19:30
🎤 Comedy Bubbles
🎟️ Eintritt frei (Reservierung nötig)
Das Finale. Punkt.
#comedy #standup #comedybluesky #livecomedy #germancomedy
Last chance 🇩🇪🎤
My last comedy show in Germany (for this visit) is happening this Sunday in Stuttgart.
Come by, laugh with me, before I disappear back across the Atlantic.
Comedy Bubbles · 7:30 PM
#StandUpComedy #LiveComedy #LastShow #ComedyInGermany #Stuttgart
Poser! In the best way possible! 😉
Your dedication is inspiring! 💪🏼
6 years ago I met the most amazing man.
Robby is my best companion, safest place, favorite adventure, and biggest love.
We’ve crossed countries, survived life, and built something steady in a crazy world.
I love you. Ich liebe dich, Robby. 🤍
P.S. A day late — privileged white old man style.
Stuttgart - Warmes Heimspiel im Reboots in Stuttgart!
Alphabet Mafia 🌈 und Bären: kommt vorbei und schaut ob ich heftiger “b💣mbe” als gestern!
Es wird ein Fest!
19:30 Uhr, Reboots Stuttgart!
#Stuttgart #Comedy #StandUp #OnlyFons
Was für ein Abend gestern bei Comedy Bubbles ✨
Tolles Publikum, richtig gute Energie –
und ein neuer Joke für alle, die die Geschichte kennen.
Mehr sag ich nicht. 👀🎤
#StandUpComedy #ComedyBubbles #NewJoke #LiveComedy #OnlyFons #Stuttgart #BadenWuerttemberg
Tonight - next Show:
In Stuttgart at Comedy Bubbles!
19:30 Uhr!
Let’s have a Blast!
And eat Döner afterwards!
#Standup #Comedy #Stuttgart
POV: You come back to Germany and immediately
🥨 eat butterbrezels
🧖♂️ get naked with strangers
🎤 explain why ICE is derailing the USA
📍 Stuttgart
🎭 Comedy Bubbles
🗓 Tomorrow & Monday
Come for comedy.
Stay for the European concern. 😌
#ComedyTok #GermanTok #Stuttgart #StandUpComedy #ExpatTok