With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

Oh yeah, this is going to be better than I thought.

Mirror Boims is terribly disappointed.

a cartoon of a man eating a bowl of popcorn Alt: Bobby Hill from King of the Hill eating a bowl of popcorn

As an astute law enforcement and legal professional, I presume Kash is looking forward to what turns up in discovery as much as I am.

The next words you type better be Lower Decks.

“Might have.” On the other hand it’s 2026 and nothing matters so have ALL the fun.

a powerful moment for the hot dog community

What absolute King/Queen/ (I don't know what non-binary royalty moniker to use) did this

IN TEXAS????

Ooooooooo. Slick.

How is USC at 225 years and hasn’t done this? Cowards.

You would not.

a man in a red shirt says " make it so " in blue letters ALT: a man in a red shirt says " make it so " in blue letters

Congrats! No small feat in a world where hiring is so broken!

That’s because he’s a puppy.

Always use thighs for my yassa. So easy, so delicious!

Decorative towels annoy me no end. What a concept.

a man in a colorful jacket is smiling in front of a map that says downtown ALT: a man in a colorful jacket is smiling in front of a map that says downtown

LA is always ready.

two men are standing next to each other and one of them is saying " allamaraine count to four allamaraine then three more " ALT: two men are standing next to each other and one of them is saying " allamaraine count to four allamaraine then three more "

I’m more Old Testament.

I'm not sure it's worth trying since the story of "Igglepiggle's Mucky Patch" has already been written. But I'm willing to try.

a man in a costume is holding a bucket of popcorn in front of him ALT: a man in a costume is holding a bucket of popcorn in front of him

Sitting over here on the Enterprise watching The Pitt 'lazy writing' takes.

Does he have to choose?

Room for someone that just wants to speculate about CBeebies and what's for dinner?

Run.

a person is jumping into the water with the words skyfall written on the bottom ALT: a person is jumping into the water with the words skyfall written on the bottom

New day, new mood here at Bluesky.

Not while the pope’s on the loose.

War of the Roses? War Games? Infinity War? Charlie Wilson’s War? I mean, credit where it’s due!

a man with a black eye is talking into a microphone and says " i 'm just gonna hit play " . ALT: a man with a black eye is talking into a microphone and says " i 'm just gonna hit play " .

Same way I always have.

Does that count the Clone Wars?

She is wise. I no longer allow myself to use the mandolin.

The best decisions you will ever make are to not post and instead just hit the delete key and move on.