“Well… Since we’re besties!”

He waves his staff and music starts playing

“If you were gay.
That’d be okay!
I mean cause hey!
I’d like you anyway!”

“Ah, I love rage baiting everyone.”

“I love ya too bestie”

“Whatever you say bestie, I got plenty of tricks up my sleeves”

“YOU’LL DEFINITELY TRY! MANY HAVE TRIED BUT I CASTED TESTICULAR TORSION AND NO ONE HAS BEEN ANY OF THE WISER!”

“Jokes on you, I don’t love or care about anything except for the destruction of corrupt governments and tyrannical figures…

So incase you can do something about that, then you’re still my bestie”

“WELL THATS A Y O U PROBLEM!

EVERYONE WHO DOESN’T WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH ME IS MY FRIEND! WHICH IS A LOT OF PEOPLE”

“All is fair in love and war.”

“YOU CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO! FUCK YOU I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!… BESTIE!”

“Well that’s a YOU problem… Bestie”

“Eh. It is what it is bestie. Big womp womps in my days, that’s for sure”

Bonks back with his quarterstaff

“If I can cross a king’s boundaries, then I can cross whatever you throw at me! Just as long it’s not anything that’s like extremely morally wrong! In this case it isn’t!”

“How did you know?”

Pog face

“So that fools like you would think that I was purely eating mayonnaise.

And it worked since you were extremely grossed out!”

“Shaddup”

He then shoved a spoonful in the king’s mouth…

The king then realizes that it wasn’t mayonnaise, it was just vanilla pudding

“What? Never had a spoonful of mayonnaise before? Ridiculous.”

He eats another spoonful

Follows but pulls out his trombone

“What? Never seen an awesome wizard scream?”

He has his trombone ready in hand

Jumps up and begins to spout

“OOH WEE OOH I LOOK JUST LIKE BUDDY HOLLY
OH OH AND YOU’RE MARY TYLER MOORE”

Begins twerking

Walks up and begins to externally scream

The wizard was now eating a tub of mayonnaise with a spoon

“Mhm… Fatty.”

“Cool! Me too!”

“Alright! More for me! I’m not a big fan of mukbangs but whatever suits you!”

“Too bad! You’re my friend now! And I’m making soft tacos tonight! And you’re gonna eat some!”

"Are they also goats?"

Awesome

“Whatever you say bestie!”

“Go to sleep everyone, or I’ll haunt your dreams and then send anomalies to haunt the corners of your rooms.”

“I WOULD PROBABLY BE LIKE.

Wow… Heh, how did that happen?

AND COMPLETELY DENY EVERYTHING.”

“… I CAST…”

Pulls out an RPG-7

“NON-MAGIC MISSILE”