That was the second encore, I was afraid she wouldn’t play it

Yes!

Gonna go find out how Ani DiFranco’s week was

You guys: there is no true Bob Dylan story

Before I got a phone I just used to stare at my hand all day

Fell asleep at my work laptop and woke up as Jeff Bridges in Tron.

it's so weird to me

indiana just killed a man

like indiana is not an entity with a will to kill, so who...

Got a doctor’s note saying I can jump into the volcano.

Dictionary definition of “bevy:” a large group of people or things

Would you say we have a bevy today

Jesus got up at church and said now it’s time for Children’s Worship, so everyone find a child and do whatever they are doing until you get saved

Today’s horoscope

Thank you, this is too much success

Family is the most important thing, other than being right about black licorice.

A parasite that ensures your toddler is the best dressed at the park.

Jasmine changed her laundry day to Thursday and I'm like how can you upset your whole life like that?! Anyway, it rained birds this morning. There was a wedding before that and everybody was throwing rice. Then all these birds came but they were already dead so the rice didn't make them explode.

Been hard to make a living as a goblin sapper since AI took over everything

I always know what I'm talking about until I wake up in the Hasbro infirmary with the company nurse reciting every possible combination of seven tiles on the little wooden Scrabble pew

just nodded my head at someone as we passed by one another and they didn’t nod back so now i’m stuck nodding my head at odd intervals so if they turn around and see me they’ll think it’s just a quirk in my walking style

You're never truly alone when you have a swarm of bees living in your hair

A jellyfish is like if a wedding dress could kill you

All bones are funny

So help me if I only taste dos leches in my tres leches cake

A small torch obliterates all your most identifying information from the small plastic bottle of messages from an old seafaring glass bottle. Now that's how you throw shit away in an age of mind gone Pippi with self-care.

off to a cabin in the woods with no wifi or cell service so this silence is the suspense before we know if I'll star in a horror movie, come back in a few days, or both

Shy Alanis Morissette has both hands in her pockets

If you make a staircase out of books it doesn't lead to knowledge but you already distracted that from all those failures in virtual attic access academia

i dont wanna make any posts rn but i want notifications you see my dilemma

reach out and touch cake