Self-help guides and videos are so annoying. They're written as if nobody has a 9-5 to deal with everyday.

There's nothing quite like the guy who is doing your x-rays digging into your personal life with questions like: so do you have like a wife and kids?

The mass deportations have to stop. Not only is it incredibly inhumane, the repercussions to the economy will be huge and painful for everyone. Offer a better way to citizenship, don't kick them out!

The guys behind me speaking only in vocal fry is so funny to me

Book entitled: how to date buildings (an easy reference guide)

I’m done dating humans. I’ve got a better idea—

@dimension20.bsky.social gauntlet at the garden was crazy!! Dreams do come true in New York City! #dimension20 #msg #gauntletatthegarden

I kept this screenshot assuming someday we might be asked to forget.

Why are so many of the video exhibits at the modern art museum weird, boring, grainy, fuzzy, black and white, and or unedited? The coolest piece was fabric being torn to reveal monitors with static behind them.

"I wasn't mean or rude about YOUR president"

Mom, I disliked Biden too. It's one thing to hate Trump for political reasons. There's plenty of good reasons to hate someone that aren't political. The fact that he has as much power as he does only makes my hate stronger.

Arriving at 4am to the airport is actually not that bad, kinda nice actually. I'm totally not delirious.

The McDonald's at the airport wasn't open 😢

It’s 13 degrees and these are the nights where the dog lying on the bed simply has more warmth upside than shorter-sheet-changing-cycle downside.

I swear the TSA be making up new rules for fun.

Have a written record of society’s collapse.

Join America's Finest Membership Here:
membership.theonion....

Me waiting for my therapy session: 😐

Me after my therapy session: 🙂

Federal Judge Tanya Chutkan dismisses a Jan. 6 rioter's case at Trump DOJ's request, but says, "no pardon can change the tragic truth of what happened on January 6, 2021."

"It cannot whitewash the blood, feces, and terror that the mob left in its wake"

storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...

Where am I getting all of these followers from?? Are y'all even real?

What I imagine the White House looks like right now

How are y'all going to handle the bots trying to make this platform unbearable?

me: really struggling with my acid reflux the last 48 hours
also me: let’s make pepperoni pizza for lunch and spicy vodka pasta for dinner

Hegseth Ex-Sister-in-Law Tells Senators He Was ‘Abusive’ to Second Wife A woman once married to the brother of Pete Hegseth, the defense secretary nominee, submitted a sworn statement to the Senate in a late-hour complication to his confirmation. His attorney denied her a...

An ex-sister-in-law submits sworn statement to senators accusing Hegseth of being so “abusive” toward his second wife that she once hid in a closet from him and had a safe word to call for help if she needed to get away from him. @karoun.bsky.social @Sharon LaFraniere www.nytimes.com/2025/01/21/u...

I like to say “I’m watching the YouTube” or “I’m going to the Target” like I’m 74 years old

I like how a lot of the sentiment I'm seeing here is basically "we're just too tired to be outraged, we're mad, but what can we do?" And yeah, I'm kind of still figuring that out too.

If it talks like a ____, if it salute's like a ____, then it's a ____

YouTube shorts sucks

The image captures a moment during a ceremonial event, featuring a man with light-colored hair, dressed in a dark suit, raising his right hand in an oath-taking gesture. He appears to be speaking, with a serious expression. Beside him stands a woman wearing a wide-brimmed black hat and a dark coat, holding a book in her hands. A young man in a suit is positioned behind them, observing the proceedings. The setting appears to be an official indoor location with ornate architectural details in the background, suggesting a formal occasion.

No hand on the Bible during inauguration means LET THE SINNING BEGIN!!!

What should I do on bad sensory days? I don't normally have this issue but when it's cold out my skin hates touching anything including my clothes. Lotion might work but that's also a sensory nightmare for me tbh.

Really wish my dog understood “it’s too cold to go on a walk, you will not like it” rather than begging until I bundle up just to walk for two minutes until she gets too cold and returns home.

On inauguration day, Trump released his neo-Nazi para-military brownshirts back onto the streets right after Elon made two Nazi salutes on national television.

This is a clear signal to violent white supremacists the world over to act with impunity.

Welcome to the reign of madness.

I'm remineralizing my teeth