looking at my schedule for thanksgiving week rn

i did this in real life

Thys meetinge koude have been a poignant and thought-provokinge expressionist filme

severance is so right. team building exercises do feel like elden ring quest lines

"No white people during Kendrick's halftime show? So much for diversity"

Oh you didn't hear? DEI got canceled. He clearly hired the best people for the job 😌

dorky ass image of you

picture showing me with my sick ass glasses and cool haircut (I am cool btw)

in case you ever wanted to insult me just know I drew you and this first image is literally you and the second one is me

a man in a white turtleneck with a lanyard around his neck is dancing ALT: a man in a white turtleneck with a lanyard around his neck is dancing

just got 50 company points that i can redeem for a $0.05 gift certificate

making money moves

They better >:]

Hi LA County friends, just got a heads up through the wires and don't have a place to write it up so I'll put it here instead - the city of Rosemead is providing free N95s and KN95s to the public which can be picked up at the Rosemead Chamber of Commerce on Muscatel Ave between 12-4pm today...

once i have free time and a consistent supply of energy drinks and nerds gummy clusters it’s so over for you all

wokeness ruined the game awards (it wasn't a balatro sweep)

ASTRO BOT???????

Saving all my worst behavior for December 24th because what’s Santa going to do at that point it’s too late 🤭

Me after having survived thanksgiving week

IF RFK JR TRIES TO GET RID OF DIET COKE I WILL MAKE JANUARY 6TH LOOK LIKE A CUB SCOUTS MEETING

Good morning

Bro ated sushi

Please do not give me unsolicited advice about my appearance. Please do not give ANYONE unsolicited advice about their appearance.

Hell yeah

Hi vegan

i will never enforce or respect a bathroom ban because i simply do not care about legality over morality. you can put w/e you want in your evil little law book and i'm still going to tell you to fuck off, accompany ALL my women friends to the bathroom and if you try to stop us i'll kick your ass

Tbf there won’t be the algorithm favoring them because they paid for a verification or whatever like the other site

disney exec: it’s about a guy who thinks he’s a monkey lol. probably don’t need anything too crazy for the soundtrack.

phil collins: [eyes glowing white, levitating above the ground] no

forgetting your headphones at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times