Because there's a VP whose whole ass is riding on this.

They should be subject to at least as strict rules on receiving gifts as my mail carrier.

My children have discovered happy meals and I feel I may never eat actual food again.

Love one of the greatest humanitarian successes in the history of the world being recast as a bad thing.

The US blockading the strait of Hormuz has big “Duck Season. Rabbit Season. Duck Season. Duck Season,” energy.

He merely wishes to share with us the blessing of Grandfather Nurgle.

Fwd: Re: Re: RE: Fwd: V1@gra

I just... want them to feel bad. I want to send them an email or call them or psychically attack them so that they feel shame, guilt, and just a little physical pain over their behavior.

The rise of an additional, passive aggressive followup email asking if I'm the "right person to talk to" as an add-on to the spammer's repertoire is some real chef's kiss "fuck you" energy.

Impossible to disagree with a single word that Ben Rhodes (Obama era NSC official) is saying here:

My most 90s Nickelodeon take is that it is in fact cruel to make kids sit at the table after everyone’s eaten while the grown-ups talk about painfully boring grown-up shit.

‘Don Lemon Considers Presidential Run, Thinks He Could "Run This Country Better Than Donald Trump"’

Big “Two things can be true at the same time” energy.

Also, going to the moon involves a lot of pure science and novel engineering research, which is both ripshit badass and has a high ROI.

Computer's running like crap again. Time to restart Chrome.

My grand theory of modern app design is that since resources are no longer constrained in the way they were back in the day, damn near everything's got a memory leak now. No one cares and some of them don't show up unless you're running it for a few days straight, but it's still a pain in the ass.

Springtime for Hitler’s a weird song to have stuck in your head.

Yeah, it’s weird. I’ve had a very similar experience, and I think one of the best things that might come out of the crash is being able to have an actual discussion of what this stuff *is* good for without having some booster pop out of the sand and shout “everything!”

My kids watch two different shows with butterfly themed supervillains, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

Our newspaper is dying. What can we do?

Did you try loading up the web page with so many ads, autoplay videos, and background processes that it takes 30 seconds to load?

Of course!

Well, I'm all out of ideas. I guess journalism is dead.

The DC Metro

Happy birthday to the Washington Metro, which opened 50 years ago today with service on 4.6 mi of Red Line between Rhode Is. Ave & Farragut N. System now serves 130 mi.

The DC Metro shows that, with good planning & enough investment, the public sector can succeed & build something extraordinary.

"The main difference between the two plans stems from where to construct the parking. "

BRB, becoming the Joker.

“I’m gonna spit just a little into this river of bile bearing down on an actual fellow human. As a treat.”

That's quitter talk!

**Sager carefully storing bottles of olive oil to pour onto his eyeballs every night**

I like to think that somewhere at Paramount there’s an old school Jack Warner type who spends his nights staring off into the middle distance, drinking scotch and completely unable to reconcile his experience of reality with the fact that Sonic the Hedgehog just *keeps* printing money.

Vince goes mask-off on his thoughts on the city of Cleveland.

Google, I swear to God I know how tables work in Sheets. Stop trying to do a pop up to tell me about tables in Sheets.

We’ve done it. We’ve made the “motion smoothing” of gaming.

Loving this bold new AI future where Gmail is shitty to me about every single writing choice I make.

I wonder how much critical org data ended up sitting anonymously on Google's servers because someone accidentally pasted it into a search bar.