All crew,

Today's shut down of all lighting and consoles was intentional. The ship needed to pass as space debris to fool an enemy.

Worf

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Commander,

I regret that I am unable to report for duty today. My honor has been jeopardized. Dr. Crusher can explain.

Worf

Geordi,

Is something wrong with Lt. Barclay? He appears to run away whenever I enter a room.

Worf

Apr 12

Roxanne,

It appears you have addressed this to me in error. You probably meant to email wriker@enterprise.uss

I will be discrete.

Worf

Captain,

Your subterfuge was a success. The Romulans received our false plan. Their defenses are still focused on the shipyard.

Worf

All crew,

We are planning a sneak attack on an illegal Romulan shipyard at 0900 hours tomorrow. DO NOT POST THIS ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

Worf

Dr. Pulaski,

I believe your earlier claim to be wrong. It only takes one Klingon warrior to change a light bulb. There is no ritual.

Worf

Commander,

Attached is a list of items you will need for the lesson you requested on Klingon courtship rituals.

Worf

📎 equipment.csv

All crew,

My position is Security Chief, not Klingon Ambassador. I will not answer questions about how my people used to look.

Worf

Security personnel,

Top priority

An unknown intruder has stolen my bat’leth and replaced it with a foil-wrapped chocolate replica. This is not a joke. Locate the thief.

Worf

Commander,

On reflection, I do not think Ensign Crusher would be a good candidate for the security intern position.

Worf

Dr. Crusher,

Yes, if Wesley wishes to shadow me for a day to consider the security intern program, he may, but it will not be easy.

Worf

All crew,

My security team does not pursue matters related to your personal information being released from the Ferengi credit hack.

Worf

Mrs. Garcia,

My condolences. Your husband did not survive the away mission. He died with honor. Counselor Troi will visit shortly.

Worf

Ensign Garcia,

You will accompany Commander Riker and me to the planet's surface. Report to transporter room 3 tomorrow at 0800.

Worf

All crew,

Again, please do not insert unknown USB drives from random planets into computer ports on the Enterprise.

Worf

Commander,

I must visit my family. I request shore leave starting 30 days from today.

Please do not grant me more than 3 days.

Worf

Thank you for subscribing to the Enterprise security newsletter.

There have been 580 security breaches this week, all dealt with.

Worf

Geordi,

I am unable to locate my cowboy hat. I need it for tomorrow. Is there a way the ship's internal sensors could help?

Worf

Senior staff,

I am still looking for my bat’leth. Inform me if you find it.

Worf

Engineering,

My calisthenics program has a problem. Instead of proper opponents the holodeck is only creating cartoon ponies.

Worf

Captain,

Dr. Crusher has ordered me to inform you that I am too sick to work today. I have now completed the task she has assigned me. I will be at my post as usual.

Worf

All crew,

Fire suppression on decks 9 to 21 will be tested at 1130 hours. There will be a harmless white gas. Hold your breath.

Worf

Amazon seller,

The bat'leth you sent me is faulty. It broke right away in combat. I insist you accept returns in this instance.

Worf

Commander,

I believe I have just solved a string of 20th century Earth crimes. Are you familiar with the Zodiac Killer?

Worf

Glorifax Customer Service,

My honor rating in your system is much lower than in the other two honor reporting agencies. Obviously there has been an error. I demand a correction.

Worf, son of Mogh

Security personnel,

Some Cardassians are coming aboard. The Captain insists we treat them as guests.

Keep your eyes on our guests.

Worf

Guinan,

What do you have in Ten Forward for a hangover?

Worf