Growing up in the 70s/80s, everyone's parents had some piece of bad, spooky art. My family's was a painting of elephants and hot-air balloons that looked like an evil circus on the moon. It was like, "We elected Nixon, kids, gaze into this window into our subconscious."
He was a literal child at the time and I was 25
A drunk guy once told me I reminder him of a movie star. Took him a minute to think of the name. It was... Haley Joel Osment 🫤. He later clarified that he meant I had pretty eyes. 🫤🫤
Sending support from me and Pip.
Time for that peeing Calvin!
When 4/20 and Patriots Day coincide the people of Boston celebrate by smoking out of an original 1782 sterling silver bong made by Paul Revere.
Someone the other day asked what’s the craziest song lyric and I couldn’t think of it at the time but “you know you're semi-good lookin” from Van Halen is up there.
Tomorrow 30,000 people will be running a marathon two blocks from my apartment. Today I am too lazy to move from the recliner to the couch so I can plug my phone in.
It’s a shame we have put all the phone disinfectors on that rocket ship.
Hey Hak Ja Han! There is no bi-polarity between sung-sang and hyung-sang. Maybe you need to re-read Divine Principal.
Thinking long and hard about which religious leader I want to pick a fight with.
Dear God, please don’t let me fall in love with one of those no-AC freaks.
you shouldn’t learn about bands from shady TikTok manipulation, you should learn about bands by hanging out with a girl you like but are also extremely afraid of
How cool--congrats!
Don't confuse DoorDash Grandma for Jordache Grandma. Only one looks spectacular in her heritage dark wash high-waisted boot-cut jeans.
Just made myself very sad deleting old emails and it didn't change my usage by even 1%.
Japanese sci-fi: two robots in space, yearning
American sci-fi: man gets the author's beliefs on polygamy confirmed by the aliens of ramalama IV
french sci-fi: two horny bounty hunters visit the Galaxy of Breasts
British sci-fi: nuclear war. Everyone dead. America's fault
It’s very simple. The music that I like is good and righteous. The music that I don’t like smells and you are bad for listening to it.
A photo of the back of a denim jacket featuring an embroidered patch of a wolf scarfing a slice of pizza.
pizza wolf
And swivel it around a bit to get all sides.
🎶 Some enchanted evening 🎶 you may see a stranger, you may see a stranger across the commuter rail aisle 🎶 you’ll know even then 🎶 that it would be unwise to ask him not to make a call with his phone on speaker 🎶
Sending silent, urgent messages to the woman sitting beside me to turn her paperback over so I can see the cover.
That’s lovely. Congratulations!
Oh Rexy, you’re so sexy!
Exclusively referring to my vagina as my Symmes hole isn't helping the whole dating situation.
Photo of a recipe for sesame-maple tofu bake.
I like this very simple recipe. I’ve done it with broccoli instead of cauliflower. Really any veggies would work.
I've got a wacky new addition to my estate plan.
I was trying for booty barn and messed up.
If you’re going to be an obnoxious jerk on the train please start doing it right away so I can change seats before my ticket is collected.