Then there's sleeping the same way you always have, but today your lower back decides that's suddenly a problem.

I was super into poring over my dad's atlas as a kid--wondering why so many counties in Midwestern states were just rectangles, memorizing state capitals, realizing how many countries were out there...

So I'd definitely have been a Google Maps sicko.

You'd be crazy not to!

Full title is "How to Become a 'Christian' in 7 Days: Fake Repent and Get Off Scot-Free From Serious Sexual Assault and Rape Charges"

The Mets may currently be in the toilet, but you've got this going for you, which is nice.

This is the way.

Sorry, Lauren, we all still like Mackenzie better.

Mr. Crepe next door is undercutting you--you can pee there (and get a coffee) for like $4.

I love that Trump can't fire him, either. Could maybe try to force him to resign, but he's likely stuck with him, and I love that for everyone involved.

That's some real good ear helicoptering. Enough of that, and your silly goose might go airborne.

"I saw Goody Sawtell cavorting with the Devil near the glacier erratic!"

If you want it in Scottish Gaelic, it's "Tha mi sgith" (ha me skee)

Disney movies (Robin Hood, Beauty & The Beast, Little Mermaid, and Tangled are my personal favorites).

Hope your little baby gets better soon!

To me, it's got a real 70s how-to manual vibe. I dig it.

Follow it up with "Netanyahu is a war criminal," I dare you.

Hopefully our lord and savior Ozzy rises again to drag Trump straight to Hell.

I've always wanted to drive a Zamboni, but now, I only want to drive THIS Zamboni. That is the sweetest ride I've ever seen.

Pair them with some Boston Harbor shellfish!

I'm not sure if this is a "not knowing what year it is" sign of dementia, or a "not being able to solve math problems" sign of dementia.

His current partner must feel really special right now.

I personally like some offal, but my family is Scottish so we have no taste. But also, even haggis doesn't have kidney in it, so that tells you something.

WTF did I just read. I don't know, I think this guy needs to stop jerking off to Sonic and touch grass instead.

Oh yeah, he and Ron would have been best buds.

"The world is wrong with him not in it."

Yep.

a black and white cartoon of a man holding a sign that says ' sickos ' . ALT: a black and white cartoon of a man holding a sign that says ' sickos ' .

Eat shit, Duke.

I mean, we all remember the Death Star conversation from Clerks.

Good soda talk. Mello Yello was the soda of my youth, and I will snatch it up on the rare occasions I see it.

I love doing those kinds of double features, don't even need a plane as an excuse. "I've got a Saturday afternoon free, let's do 'Rashomon' and 'Muppet Christmas Carol,' why not?"

That's Barrolemew to you!

Sounds like a you problem, Sean.