Squeaky howls are the best 🐺

Invest in a bilingual shepherd dog and start herding cats

I hate the British but they kinda popped off with “nonce”

I am just a simple girl all I want is to hold my phone sideways

A screenshot from tumblr user firebreathingpandas, saying, “Malevolent is kinda funny from the king in yellow's perspective like imagine reaching out your window and then your hand gets fucking cut off so you have to make a giant elaborate plan to get it back. Then you learn that a stupid depressed rat stole your fucking HAND and has been carrying it around, and when you finally get your hand back it then flips you off, slaps you, and runs away with the rat.”

Malevolent from @malevolent.bsky.social is one of the best, most gripping horror stories I’ve ever encountered.

Also sometimes hilarious.

App store let me sort by games I can play in landscape mode that is literally all I want

Growling and pacing my enclosure bc someone associated the King in Yellow with the Ceaseless Watcher like they have literally anything in common I’m going to start tearing up the floor

Why has the culmination of all my efforts, the absolute pinnacle of my artistic ability, everything I’ve ever wanted from my artstyle, presented itself in a peace I made for me and two other people to laugh at

I drew my goober like one of those crazy rainbow glitter 2020 pfps that’re trending lately and I’m not going to share it bc it’s an affront to god but I need to brag about how beautiful this monster energy can is

Two kids are trapped in a darkened hjouse with no windows. One says "damn bro, looks like we got skinamarkinked." The other brother asks "how are we gonna get out of this one?" Suddenly the Kook Aid man bursts through a wall and says "OH YEAH!!!" He extends his hand and says "come with me if you want to live." The brothers seem delighted.

Going to get diagnosed with lycanthropy to affirm my gender

People leave out mince pies and cookies for Santa, but the reindeer only get carrots. The only exception is Donner, who has dietary restrictions and gets a pass to eat the same kind of party food Santa does. Google "Donner pass party food" for more information

he had them apple color jeans coat w/ the fur
the whole house was
w/o a stir
he hit the snow
next thing u know
Santa said
hohohoho
hohohoho

i shouldn't have to wash the colander after making pasta. they were literally just in boiling water, they're the cleanest thing in the house

ive gotta (remembers i shouldnt say kms anymore) write a fic in parkour language

Please ask me about the dramatic lore of the big gingerbread house

Gingerbread decorating has gone very well

I am currently in a pocket dimension. Oh woops. No nevermind. I was, but now I’m not.

when a police man says hes going to give you a hot meal that means hell shoot you. the hot meal is a bullet. they call it Police mans dinner

What kind of Chuck E. Cheese are you going to??

So when is someone going to write the Wolf359/Malevolent crossover and ship everyone’s favorite horrible fathers with beloved disembodied voices together

puppygirls be like: "ruff"

and all the other puppygirls be like: "that's so true,,,,"

flug, wearing a little pink crown, up in a tower, on the moon, wow.

nobel prizes only going to living scientists is so funny

like if he's so smart why's he DEAD

a litttle flug bobblehead on a car dashboard. i think i used gm_freeway for the back of this, i really like that map lol.

Spencer Reid is so autism gender. To me.

will bluesky accept some furry-ified Malevolent characters? :)

Just beat Castle Crashers for the first time why on earth does the final boss have like six stages