I'm not a jealous person unless you are better than me or have something I want.

going on 36 hours awake because every airplane seat was designed for tiny little mice. little cartoon mice curled up on a bag of peanuts and using their boarding pass as a blankie. all dragging a big steamer trunk behind them and shouting “oh boy!” when the plane takes off. unfortunately I am 6’3”

The running up the steps scene from Rocky, but it's a penguin, and it takes four and a half hours.

A single beautiful young morel (my first this year!) grows in front a the moss covered base of a mature oak tree. All photos by me

Here is a nice mushroom

These people make me laugh daily and all deserve a follow
go.bsky.app/8pZS7se

Sorry I'm late. There was an online form and I had to scroll to my birth year.

lamb cake: it’s glazed with strawberry eyes looking possessed and terrifying

happy easter! 🐑 🩷

Watercolour painting of Alfie from this photo. #cats #catsofbluesky #petportraits

saint patrick ate all those snakes

"Classic NES Series Trivia" was a Flash game available on Nintendo's site in 2004. The questions were loaded remotely, and could not be archived. Playing the game now results in no questions loading and a purgatory-like experience with blank choices, all of which are declared wrong.

Sláinte from all of us on E Street!

📸: Rob DeMartin

French President Emmanuel Macron says his country "will never take part in operations to open or liberate the Strait of Hormuz in the current context."

I did not expect that setting fire to the tamagotchi fields would so drastically affect the price of this year’s tamagotchi crop.

MOVIE EXEC: no idea is a bad idea

ME: a farm romance about two feuding sheep who unexpectedly fall in love

MOVIE EXEC: get out

ME: bleated rivalry

We've had bad people that made good presidents.
We've had good people that made bad presidents.

Now we have the worst person that's made the worst president.

production of The Muppet Show should not be dependent on petty vulgarities like “ratings” or “revenue.” it should be preserved as a vital function of american culture. it should have a taxpayer-funded budget rivaling the CIA

it's been a while so here's a pack of some of my favorite people

go.bsky.app/3cVJfpD

ok. does anyone know if it's twice per athlon or every two athlons

a hot wheels car that looks like sashimi

get in losers. no time to explain

Before we get started, I just want to say thank you to all of my subscribers. This has been a dream as long as I can remember and I couldn’t have done it without you. It feels surreal to finally say it, but this is the final episode of Nutting In Every Country In The World. Welcome to Vatican City

good point

Give him a Nobel Peace Prize but make it beep every time an underage girl is nearby.

Big personal news! I just sold an F-35 fighter jet to Saudi Arabia

BREAKING: Bill to release the Moleman Files passes the House 427 - 1. Subterraneous Q. Burrow (R - The Underkingdom) was the only no vote

when I was a kid my dad could have kicked my ass because he was an adult. now I could kick my dad’s ass because he’s old. but there was one day between then and now when we were exactly evenly matched. the father/son convergence

ask your doctor if lying down in the forest to be consumed by the earth is right for you

hot dogs could be a thanksgiving side

In Super Mario Odyssey, kicking things is Mario's highest priority, overriding all other actions. If a kickable object, such as a football, is thrown at Mario while he is asleep, he will momentarily wake up just to kick it before instantly going back to sleep.

[seeing that my wife has started buying cauliflower again] looks like it's time for another diss track

A cat wedging himself behind a window to avoid needle time.

I said no needles. I meant no needles.