Letters for a Suicide, 38 Hi Joe,

And so we officially come to the end of the book. I thought of this epilogue, of sorts, earlier this week. Something to ground the book in a little more reality. Something almost final. Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and respond and reach out. I appreciate it more than you know.

Letters for a Suicide, 37 The last one for whom it may concern....

And, so, Joe’s letters have come to end. Almost 10 weeks to generate these letters. And now the real work begins of sifting through and organising and rewriting and considering what shape Joe’s story takes.

#writing #writer #fiction #novel #MENASA #immigrant #refugee #literaryfiction #author

Letters for a Suicide, 36 To the younger self of promise...

I’ve been thinking about this recipient for a while. I wasn’t sure if I would follow through, but after writing the previous letters I decided it made sense to follow through on my thought.

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Letters for a Suicide, 35 To Mom...again...

Because I didn’t get to finish the letter yesterday (to adult friends) I doubled up and finished the letter I had planned for today. This will be the last week of letters. Only two more left. Then I’ll take a break and start the process of organising, redrafting, adding, deleting and shaping.

Letters for a Suicide, 34 To the Almost-What-If-Might-Have-Been Friends

This letter was a fun challenge prompted by a question a friend posed to me. She’s been stalwart in reading my chapters and giving me feedback (thank you!). I’m not sure I quite nailed this one, but I enjoyed figuring it out and seeing what additional layer I could bring to Joe’s story.

Letters for a Suicide, 33 Shhhhh.....

I think I’m nearing the end. I’m getting a sense of what the arc of this book might be. And I’m reaching the upper limits of acceptable word count. Either this week or next will round out the last letters Joe writes before he feels finished.

open.substack.com/pub/sevan7/p...

Letters for a Suicide, 32 America, oh, America...

Given the recent news of the absolute bone-headed decision to halt swearing in ceremonies, I figured this letter would be especially appropriate and well-timed.

#writing #writer #fiction #novel #MENASA #immigrant #refugee #literaryfiction #author

open.substack.com/pub/sevan7/p...

The @mta.info proves daily how completely ineffectual and dysfunctional it is. Waiting 16 minutes for a train during rush hour is ridiculous. And yet they keep raising fares and improving NOTHING for riders. I say this with my full chest: Fuck. You.

Letters for a Suicide, 31 To Whom It May Concern...again...

open.substack.com/pub/sevan7/p...

Letters for a Suicide, 30 For the intellectual mentors who cracked the world open...

After yesterday’s vitriolic attack I wanted to do something that was a little more gratitude. But I also wanted to tap into a little more of Joe’s exhaustion to track exactly why he wants to do what he wants to do and to question whether he’ll actually go through with it.

Letters for a Suicide, 29 To the Older Generation

I got little sleep today. And I’m dealing with aggravating student questions. So I am channeling my frustration and annoyance in the letter today. Which, it turns out, is how this specific letter needed to be approached.

#writing #writer #fiction #novel #MENASA #immigrant #refugee #literaryfiction

I think I have about five more letters planned. And maybe I’ll throw in another 5 wildcards just as an experiment to see what pops up.

I think I’m nearing the end of Letters for a Suicide. I’m running out of ideas. I’m cautious of going over the limit of a fiction novel. I’m eager to start shaping and revising. I’m not sure if there is more of his life to excavate.

Letters for a Suicide, 28 To the kid in the dinosaur pyjamas.

I hadn’t planned to write anything today, but the letters of the last two days formed a kind of triptych experience in my head for Joe. I wanted to explore what the last letter in this trio could be and how it reveals a different side to Joe and a new aspect of his life as he writes these letters.

Letters for a Suicide, 27 To sister-friends and holiday cheer.

I felt inspired by the last letter and guilty that I have skipped days writing. So this is a different letter about found and chosen family and what it means to find the thing you didn’t think you needed.

#writing #writer #fiction #novel #MENASA #immigrant #refugee #literaryfiction #author

Letters for a Suicide, 26 Fa La La La Love All of You, My Chosen Family

I’ve had a tough time this week convincing myself to write. Nothing serious. Just the typical moment in writing where you can’t be bothered and don’t know why you’re bothering. I’ve had this draft staring at me for three days so I just bit the bullet today, skipped the gym, and finished it.

Letters for a Suicide, 25 To anyone who had to change their name to survive...

This letter is for any immigrant who had to change their name just to survive and deal with being an outsider.

#writing #writer #fiction #novel #MENASA #immigrant #refugee #literaryfiction #author

open.substack.com/pub/sevan7/p...

Letters for a Suicide, 24 Oh Therapist, My Therapist...

Last week was the first time I didn’t complete four entries in one week owing to the holidays and being on a road trip. I’ll try to make up for that this week. Or maybe I’ll just leave the disruption as a marker. I feel like I am nearing the end of the letters. But I’m not sure.

I just found it bizarre that as someone who is a descendant of genocide survivors it was a bit of a pisstake to be celebrating a holiday that essentially trivialises the genocide of first nations people in America. Here is a map to discover whose stolen land you live on. Honour them and thank them.

Letters for a Suicide, 23 For you, My Coffee, My Life.

I woke up this morning flat out exhausted and fully prepared not to write a chapter, using the holidays as an excuse. I have also been feeling drained of late writing these letters. But I decided to do a 180 and try something different again to change it up for myself and the narrative.

Letters for a Suicide, 22 To the BFFL

On holiday but got away to a coffee shop to sit and think and write. A letter from Joe to his childhood best friend before his world came crashing down around his young shoulders.

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Letters for a Suicide, 21 To the Mother...finally....

Unbelievably late with the chapter today. Wasn’t sure I was going to do any writing this week. Decided to stay disciplined and least knock out a first draft of this knowing it would need reworking later. But here, at last, is Joe’s letter to his Mother.

open.substack.com/pub/sevan7/p...

Letters for a Suicide, 20 To the students then, now, and whenever.

I woke up today feeling uninspired, tired, and really not in the mood to write. I forced myself to sit down and freewrite and this came about as Joe’s next letter. Reminding me to try different recipients and flavours for these letters so they’re not all mired in grief.

#writing #writer #fiction

Letters for a Suicide, 19 To the Cellist on the R Train

Decided to get a post out early today. I think this next set of letters is what happens after the midpoint thaw loosens something in Joe and forces him to contend with his decision. Can anything change his mind?

#writing #writer #fiction #novel #MENASA #immigrant #refugee #literaryfiction #author

Letters for a Suicide, 18 To the second love and the most surprising one

Super late with today’s letter because life was lifing and I got slammed with work. But here it is. This one I have been thinking about since I started but wasn’t sure how to write it until some other letters too shape.

#writing #writer #fiction #novel #MENASA #immigrant #refugee #literaryfiction

Letters for a Suicide, 17 In the middle somewhat elevated for all who are concerned.

A new week. A new set of letters. This week - no pre-planning. Whatever strikes me in the morning is what I go with. But I do feel like maybe I’ve hit the midway point of this project, which sort of makes no sense since I don’t know the full shape and order of these letters. But here we are anyway.

Letters for a Suicide, 16 To a childhood idol

I opted to write a different letter for today than what I had planned. I needed a different texture and recipient. A different narrative thread for Joe that isn’t wrapped up in a litany of grief. #writing #writer #fiction #novel #MENASA #immigrant #refugee #literaryfiction #author #robinwilliams

Ohhhhhh????

Letters for a Suicide, 15 To the uncle who never was but always is.

open.substack.com/pub/sevan7/p...

Letters for a Suicide, 14 To you, my stalwart stair companion

I got inspired last night by a wild idea and decided to follow through on it for this week replacing one of the other planned letters. And, to be honest, after yesterday’s letter I needed a little something lighter to write about. This book needs to be about balance and not just a litany of grief.