HAHAHA! That response killed me. And it's so damn true.

Weird that they would fire the navy secretary who’s been overseeing a war we’ve won at least five times.

dhuartson: Don't let anyone talk you out of spending $15 on a new hobby. That $50 will be the best $400 you ever spent.

This is not wrong.

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A win! A federal judge has instructed the Interior Department to restore signage and video exhibits at George Washington’s former Philadelphia residence that explain his ownership of enslaved people.

Pre-Musk Twitter used to be cerebral… but abbreviated. I still grieve the old Twitter.
Thankfully, BlueSky only ups the ante on cerebral. But y’all need to get more pithy.

#Epstein

#EpsteinFiles

😢😢😢

✔️

Elmo @elmo · 1h That Bunny was AMAZING. Elmo thinks he should be called Good Bunny! Elmo loves you, Mr. Good Bunny! ❤️🎶🐰 Based Yankee @thebasedyankee You and Bad Bunny should be deported

It's not even midnight and we're already at "Deport Elmo."

HR wants to talk to me. Apparently replying to all me emails with “unsubscribe” is “unprofessional.”

sorry

It was a simpler, sweeter time.

"If I Did It" by Elon Musk

This is what oligarchy looks like:

Elon Musk, the wealthiest man alive, spent $290 million to elect Trump.

Since Election Day, Musk became $548 billion richer while his companies (SpaceX & Tesla) paid $0 in federal income taxes last year after making $13.7 billion in profits.

Precisely. Solidarity!

Scene from The Purge

BREAKING: Viewers of “Melania” Documentary Receive Call Telling Them They Will Die in 7 Days

Society started its decent into our current abyss when we changed how we hold our flashlights.

Almost like the FIFA peace prize meant nothing

Bragging that you just passed your 3rd dementia test
is a great way of telling us
they've made you take 3 dementia tests

Occasionally Say Occasionally Again

Wow, gold, frankincense, AND myrrh. This is so great. My wife’s boyfriend’s baby is going to love it. Thank you so much.

I think they make champagne bottles hard to open to ensure you're sober enough, but the joke's on them because I have a sword.

Merry Christmas! As you can see, Oliver is carefully measuring the wrapping paper!

“My ancestors came here on the Mayflower”

So they were undocumented immigrants who survived with the help of the very indigenous people whose descendants ICE is now harassing because they look brown?

WATCH: The 60 Minutes CECOT Segment I was sent the CECOT segment anonymously in a group chat.

BREAKING: WATCH the full 60 Minutes CECOT segment here. This was sent to me anonymously. It appears to be the segment CBS' Bari Weiss killed. www.muellershewrote.com/p/watch-the-...