You need to stop referring to yourself in the second person.

The Pale Man from Pan’s Labyrinth

Bitch McConnell lookin like the Pale Man from Pan’s Labyrinth

How did I not think of this sooner?

Cops were setting off all those fireworks during the summer of 2020 to annoy neighbors, blame Black Lives Matter, and discredit the movement in the eyes of the general public.

I hope we’re not failing *all* the sluts!

(For as long as it’s been on my list, this is the only Superstore reference I know.)

When I call my best friends faggots, I’m not using it as a slur. I’m reclaiming it as a term of endearment.

When I call Perez Hilton a faggot, I’m not reclaiming the word. I’m using it as a slur.

I’m suing Kash Patel for $250 million for making me look at his stupid fucking face

Long live John Apple!

RIP Tim Apple I guess we’ll have to start calling you Tim Cook again

“You need to rewatch this movie with different footage that we didn’t originally include so that this new movie makes sense” is an insane thing to say.

Just…include the relevant footage in the new movie so that the story can stand on its own?

I need to lay down on the floor

Chicago

Titanic is not a romance or a disaster film.

It’s a coming of age story. It’s the story of how this contained experience rewired Rose’s brain and transformed her as a person for life.

It taught her what she deserves from love, and it turned her into a self-sufficient person and a survivor.

We will destroy every monument, rip his name off the side of every building, and pull down every statue of him. And if our next administration won’t do it, we the people will pick up a sledgehammer and do it ourselves.

Gonna invest in a sledgehammer

The first draft is like the first pancake. It’s supposed to suck. You just need a starting point—any starting point—and build from there.

Being queer is the easiest thing in the world.

Existing around straight people is the hard part.

Hey boy, are you a logarithm? Because I’m trying to learn what a logarithm is through process of elimination.

Is this a safe space to confess that I prefer cavatappi and cheese over macaroni and cheese?

All these crooks need to have their entire estates appropriated by the next administration. Nationalize their assets. Sell all their belongings off, including their tee vees and furniture. Give the proceeds to mutual aid groups.

There’s no way I’m siding with the tech bros

Magneto (he’s a hero in my book) would belong in San Francisco, facing off against our technofascists.

"Those taxes you just paid? The money is going straight into Trump's pocket" would be good messaging

Why does anyone listen to fucking “strategists?”

Where Anne Hathawill, Anne Hathaway

Happy 415, San Francisco!

HAH!

This is my fault for learning how to read

Huge shoutout to @mrs-frazzled.bsky.social and @cheyennehunt.bsky.social for their fierce advocacy on behalf of Swalwell’s victims.

They took a lot of heat and hate, and in the end they gave these women a voice, held a powerful man accountable, and saved our state from having an abuser as governor.