Honestly, those peanuts you gotta shell right there in your seat.

John Kerry won Ohio in 2004.

WARFIGHTERS only!

Just got back from Ireland and checked my bag specifically to make a truly embarrassing amount of whiskey my carryon.

Yes, some people are inherently nurturing, but that doesn't mean you don't have to still learn things in order to nurture! Your mommy instincts are not a substitute for, say, doctors, or school, or books!

And the "oh, maternal instincts, your sacred well of womanhood" shit is harmful to women who, when they don't experience a magic download of all motherly knowledge 5 seconds after giving birth, torment themselves for being broken somehow.

This whole "men only really like their own children, they don't feel things like you do" thing is propaganda to induce women to breed with mean, selfish fuckers in hopes of changing them into people who want kids. It never works.

I would like to introduce you to my dad, maker of silly faces at every baby in a five-mile radius, and my late father-in-law, who spent more time making stupid duck noises at my toddler to make her laugh than I did.

"Journalism is better when it's backed by live markets."

Just reading about this entire crew makes me want to get blackout shitfaced at 9 a.m., never mind actually working with them.

Honestly the most relatable member of this administration.

This is the dream.

Anything the internet can provide, let us know.

I gotta think our Current Moment of eschewing vaccines and taking the flouride outta the water is gonna show people just how Not Awesome the idyllic days of yesteryear were.

That being said 3 years ago I did a full music festival, 4 days outside, and that was A Lot For Me. Local show, take the following day off to sleep, is more my speed.

FULL SET: LSR/CITY CYBERPUNK TOUR @ Kia Forum, Los Angeles [22nd Mar 2025] 4K YouTube video by Gareth Emery

I go to the gym specifically so twice a year I can dance all night to this: youtu.be/9-ochJEQpb0?...

One thing about getting really into EDM in my late 40s was coming to terms with being the oldest person at the rave. A kid young enough to be my child offers me a shot of something, I can just say no thank you honey and did you drink enough water today?

The exterminator is always like "our methods are environmentally friendly" and my dude I don't care if you use Agent Orange so long as I never have to learn that flying ants exist. Which I have learned. Against my will.

I am fine with mice and snakes and guinea pigs or lizards or whatever but I get to have One Thing I Don't Do and that is an insect. Spiders also. Don't even like butterflies. Too skittery. Too many legs. I shaven't it.

Everything is trash but I am married to a man who will take a shop vac and suck up all the dead bugs in the sun room because even dead bugs freak me the fuck out.

black and white drawing of an underwater scene. a large bird sticking it's head into the water, surrounded by shocked fish

WHATS UP YOU WET MOTHERFUCKERS

Look at my foster puppy.

Not everything sucks.

He had to get The Kids Today to read them somehow.

If there is such a thing as a one-man human centipede, it is David Brooks.

The lurkers support him in email!

You know, it's not so much that this guy exists. The world abounds with stupidity of every kind and it's foolish to expect never to encounter it.

It's that this guy gets paid obscene amounts of money to lecture others on how to live their lives while he can't eat breakfast at the airport sober.

I would say HE DID NOT but it's so completely his brand to lecture others on how to do a thing he completely fucked up in public.

Tell your boyfriend
If he says he's got beef
THAT I'M A VEGETARIAN AND I AIN'T FUCKIN SCARED OF HIM