HELLO non-twitter-verse! :)

Trump is your boomer mom, projecting her shit all over you before you head to therapy to process her shit parenting, and its very real impact on you.

Nick Adams. Ewwww.

I hope that I live long enough to see them tried for their crimes.

Their only concern is that she’s gonna say his name.

Clowns in Georgetown.

Yes, this is authoritarianism .
No, it’s not ok.
Yes, all of our cities are next.
No, no one is immune

Our democracy is crumbling, and those goons are holding an Epstein-themed murder mystery night at the temple of the orange.

Luckily no one reposts me so my notifications are fine.

Ahhh. The old “I didn’t realize the stovetop was that hot, or I wouldn’t have touched it” argument.

Elon Musk. Hahaha. The battle continues.

fun fact: lots of things are made in the USA, like ignorance, racism, bigotry, transphobia, anti-Semitism, toxic masculinity, mass shootings, war, the collapse of democracy

life is short, but thanks to Donald Trump, it just got shorter

waiting for all the anti-war Trump supporters to go “tHis IsNt WhAt I VoTeD fOR”

you’re screaming. a 34-time convicted felon and rapist bombed a foreign country and has threatened to continue bombing them to distract us all from the endless crimes he has already committed against Americans and you’re screaming.

I scream, you scream, we all scream. welcome to primal scream therapy.

IMPEACH THE DUMB ORANGE MOTHERFUCKER ALREADY

DEMOCRATS: Donald Trump did a bad thing and we do not condone this at all

ALSO DEMOCRATS: we remain committed to working with Donald Trump

pro tip: if Netanyahu praises you for doing something, you’re doing the wrong fucking thing

the year is 2025. the former host of NBC’s The Apprentice and the author of Hillbilly Elegy are responsible for World War III.

Donald Trump bombing Iran and declaring “now is the time for peace” is like eating a whole bucket of beans and declaring “now is the time to go on a road trip with no bathroom breaks”

Only Peaceful Murders in the Building

DONALD TRUMP: [idiotically] we peacefully bombed Iran, OK? we didn’t bomb them violently at all, it was a very nice, very peaceful bombing. many people begged me “Mr. President, you’re so tough, you will destroy Iran with your manly bombs” and it was just like tickling them, I tickled Iran

remember in school when you were advised to pick on the biggest, angriest, strongest kid in class and then they made peace with you

“peace through strength.” the Trump administration started World War III because of a slogan they saw at a 24 Hour Fitness

Told my mom she’d have made a great corrections officer, what with all the correcting she does.

That’s enough, I shouted, as the bride’s vows went into a fourth bullet point.

I lied what I lied.

I’m not fat I’m writ large.