Anyway that's it, that's the stuff I needed to shout into the bsky void. Thank u but also sorry

I can't relax! I want to relax but as soon as I try I get hyperaware of all my aches and pains, my heartbeat, I get sad again. And as much as letting myself be sad is healthy, crying is triggering my costochondritis pain and I've also got itchy contact dermatitis around my eyes from crying

(not rhetorical, is there science behind this???)

I CANT STOP BEING STRESSED (this is actually what I wanted to rant about)

My brain is searching for distractions to the grief and so it's latching onto PROBLEMS. It's like, "don't cry! Let's solve something!" But it's all stressful things! Things I can't solve right now! WHY

I've been having an acid reflux flare up and I was sick for a couple of days with a sore throat. Today I got a migraine for the first time in my life and y'all a migraine aura is scary if you've never experienced one 😭

Anyway, it's been a week and although every day I cry a little less today I got photo prints I ordered of her in the mail and it kind of wrecked me and it's been a rough day. My body is really feeling the physical affects of grief and stress. My costochondritis, which had mostly healed, came back

CW: pet loss

The vet told me she wouldn't have felt anything, the way she went. But it looked like she did. I woke up at 6.30am to her looking bad (after falling asleep at 5am and she was peacefully sleeping) and by 6.50am she was gone.

CW: pet loss

my cat passed away a week ago. It's been really tough, I've been a wreck. She went from stage 2 kidney disease to end stage 4 real quick and we tried so many things, but she couldn't fight anymore in the end. She passed at home. It was a little traumatic.

Back to bsky after a long hiatus because I need to send some thoughts into the void so apologies in advance

I'M TIRED

These people exist in non human health spaces too. If you've never had someone give you a shining example of cognitive bias by evangelizing about feeding your cat a raw diet to fix literally any health issue... Uh, I hope your luck continues

(I am not blaming people who are desperate & will try anything, this is still on Sharon a retired receptionist who swears her chronic health issues started after she got "the jab" & is adamant all you need to do is take a dangerous amount of B12 w/o checking if you need to, don't trust your doctor)

One of the most annoying things with having mysterious health issues and trying to figure them out is the sheer amount of random people on the internet that think they're experts who want you to do what they say, and the sadly desperate people who listen to them

A week and a half ago I wasn't doing anything for fringe fest. Since then I've performed in one show and been booked for another, been asked to do tech for NINE shows and photograph two others. Who knows what else is gonna happen before the month is over lol I'm exhausted thinking about it

It's Fringe Fest, of course I've agreed to take on a huge amount of responsibilities at the last minute 💀

Maybe we are all just doing the same thing he did by criticizing his actions but still trying to justify why we still like him idk

Honestly maybe my thoughts on the Hangman/Marty situation are just as incoherent lol I just find it a little odd fans are so desperate to give him an out and assign motivations and stuff. People can accept what he said, or not. Just not sure about adding in information we can't actually know.

Well, yes. That's not why I'm not surprised though.

I love this film! I need to rewatch it, it's been so long. So camp.

At the end of the day he's part of a demographic that consistently fails to have consistent morals. Could have been worse though, he could have not said anything at all. That's kind of a low bar though 👀

I guess I'm just thinking out loud. I don't totally condemn Hangman, I just don't think his explanation was as amazing as some people make it out to be. But I don't think it can all totally be discounted. I'm still a fan of the character but yeah, I'm disappointed. Weirdly not surprised though.

I no longer consider him a friend. Sure it's legal, but people our age have no fucking business dating someone fresh out of high school. That being said, he's not cut out of my life. If we bump into each other I say hello, so yeah I get it. Relationships are complicated.

And yes relationships are complicated. I have a friend that stabbed a guy, went to prison for it. I truly believe that friend regrets what he did and is striving to be a better person. Some people may not agree with me. I also know someone who recently dated an 18 year old, we are in our 30s.

But they don't hold up to scrutiny. I also see a lot of people assigning feelings and motivations to two people we do not know. It kind of reads like fanfiction. Sure maybe hangman is naive... Or he just doesn't care as much as we hoped he would. We literally do not know.

Saying someone is still a human being doesn't really mean anything. Some of the worst people you know, some of the worst people in history... Also happened to be human beings. I don't really understand this. Saying "he's still a human being" are just words that seem like they could mean something

Came back to bsky to see what people were saying about the hangman page apology. I am disappointed, definitely. I don't think he's a bad dude but that was a bad explanation. It started off strong and ended up a little incoherent.

I'm sitting behind these two tweens on the bus and they just made fun of someone on the street for wearing skinny jeans lmao

Fresh year incoming

Seafood platter with rice noodles, som tum (spicy Thai papaya salad), cuttlefish, mussels, salmon and a bowl of squid and shrimp in the background. A cheeky water spinach tendril sneaks into the foreground

Northeastern glass noodle soup with chicken gizzards and drumsticks, duck blood in a delicious brown broth topped with chilli and spring onion

Other than having to endure potential border conflict misinformation, I do eat well when I'm here

But idk if that's because English language news on it is lacking/behind or if it's actually just fake