I feel like we all deserve to see Jose give it a crack

How often have you been thinking about this since the weekend?

Funnily enough, my 6a has *just* developed an annoying habit of occasionally muting itself when I'm listening to music out loud. Such a minor irritation, but it's getting to me

There's a Spiderman TWO!?

Got a few great bed bug jokes but not sure which to tweet first. Think I'll sleep on them.

Loving that the Tory response to any Labour Party Conference speech is just "but what about the problems we've caused?"

This is not my cat

I believe it's "diet, exercise, and loads and loads of money"

You just know the land they're selling off from HS2 is going to end up in the hands of their friends

Feels like the Tory conference is all them auditioning to be leader, but they've all be chosen by the people on X Factor who found the really shit people

My 20s have been a lot of remembering I should start a pension and then just not doing it

Been at the gym a full hour and just realised my t shirt is on inside out so now I'll have to never do any exercise every again

Audience validation is for cowards who don't like fun

Seven bins to look through though, can see why it'd take a while

Didn't think the things keeping me on Twitter at this point would be corporate self destruction and exquisite seven bin humour but here we are

Absolutely solid gold option. Anyone I might have heard of on it?

The one with the big axe. Always the big axe.

Call me lazy, but if I were in charge of averting a climate disaster and there was an easy way out, I think I'd take it

Everyone in their 20s is stupid though

Think the most disproportionate reaction I have to anything is how much my skin crawls when I hear/read "the pod" instead of podcast

Thoughts with whoever uploaded them docs. Simultaneously empathetic of how stressful that is and grateful for the perspective on my day