Giving yourself permission to stim is so good tho

I think I would make a good cat bc I like to bring random objects to my husband and yell whenever I want attention

Officially in my wife era

Moisturised and in my lane yet incredibly bothered

The thing that's finally made me excited for our wedding is seeing my silly little husband trying on his silly little suit (he is 5'10 and handsome) and also the fact that somebody bought the magnetic goose from our wishlist

How to make sure "Patriots" have a great day out in Bristol this weekend! (for educational purposes only) 📚

#BristolAntifascists #Antifascism #Antifacist #Antifa #Bristol

I see a lot of the same """leftists"""throwing around fatphobia as well, like c'mon seriously?

Can't believe prince Andrew died in a horrific car accident next week

We are at an airport restaurant. A robot just drove up to us with our food, said, "Hi! Here I am!" and then drove away with our food.

And yes, user with the name Rejoin EU and handle initial_surname123, I am calling you centrist an insult

I forget it's name but there's a phenomenon of politics shifting slowly but surely right until what many people consider left was is just centrism

Honestly wanting to rejoin the EU is such a centrist take

The only ever vaguely tractioned tweet I had was about how it's plenty easy to mock Trump without needing to mock incontinence and it's still true and I bet people are still mad about being told they're ableist

In the past ten days I have had a broken phone (£80), a broken car (£190), and a broken condom (£30)

A liberal is someone who opposes every war except the current war and supports all civil rights movements except the one that’s going on right now

thinking about this one again

Recent culinary adventures:
Carrot and ginger jam
Pumpkin falafel
Cheesy parsnip mash
Baked eggs cos my frying pan broke
Just good ol' pasta in soup

Bitcraft

Regretfully adding baklava to the "food I'm not allowed to eat in bed" list

If I ever set a proper signature to my work email it's going to have cryptic things like "sent from my Yamaha toaster"

What if instead of boycotting Eurovision Ireland sent kneecap

The worst part about menstruating is that every fart is a wet fart

i fear i have begun
to turn loading the dishwasher
into performance art

Some AO3 author just discovered that whatever they write will come to pass in reality

I dislike business through Facebook. The memes I share imply that I won't pay for things

Maybe I will reply to work emails at half 10 on a Saturday night, but I'm too awkward to send an enquiry to a professional through Facebook in case it interrupts their evening

Top tip when trying to work out if someone "genuinely in need" or just "bone idle":
Fuck the fuck off right into the heart of the fucking sun

I wonder how many staff at the shite-rag offices are recieving UC or PIP or tax credits, quietly listening to their employers degrade them while getting rich off their labour.

"on benefits" is so fucking dehumanising. Like you cease to be a person when you're poor or sick or usually both. Weaponised hatred against vulnerable people, who get used as cannon fodder by both major parties.

Daily express front page' four million on benefits don't have to find a job

Daily mail front page: thousand jobs a day now lost under Reeves

Schrödinger's unemployed: we simultaneously can't get jobs because there aren't any, and won't get jobs because we're lazy scroungers. #TomorrowsPapersToday

Yes this about The Thick Of It, yes I wrote porn about Malcolm Tucker and his PA, and yes I'm managing to take it even further despite that already being Too Much