Tummy hurts

They obviously aren't this color I just picked high contrast colors.

A blue circle with a red dot located in the middle most bottom quadrant.

Avoid it at all chances. Toys OBVIOUSLY didn't fit, and for a long while I assumed I had vag1n1smus. But no. Microperforate hymen. Suddenly it's a good thing I've never dated until now bc jfc. Artist rendition of the area btw. Bad quality sorry. Blue is the membrane, red is the opening.

(TMI TMI TMI BELOW TMI)

So, I suspected I had a Hymen defect for a while bc ANY penetration of any kind was uncomfortable or impossible. I can only really get one finger in there, MAYBE and the entire time it's highly uncomfortable. Not painful thankfully, but so uncomfortable that I simply

So. I have a birth defect I didn't realize I had until my big age of 24. 😐 And it's taken so long bc I've never had a pelvic exam 😐 great. I'll need Surgery 😐

I need to work out so bad I need to be active I need to but I literally can't get out of bed

I eat 900 cals for like 4 days straight. My weight maintains. (Mind you my limits been 1250 to wean myself back into restriction without binging). I binge on pizza bc I ate under the safe limit. I gain 3 fucking pounds.

I hate to say it like this but my friend recovered so now I'm fucking alone in this stupid disorder man. I don't wanna talk and complain Abt my ED with them bc I don't wanna trigger them but I'm literally sui/c1dal rn bc I gained weight

Monday fasting and then I used to also do Friday but it never fails that I'd cave bc there was a food I loved. I can't be caving. Monday and Friday. Omad at most but preferably fasting

I'm gonna try and get back on my fasting schedule to try and fix this I can't I can't I can't I can't be 150s again bc if I go up then what if I keep going up and I gain my weight back oh my god oh mygod oh my god I was so fucking puffy back then nonono

Like oh my god I'm so fucking ugly and disgusting right now why can't I be perfect I'm hyperventilating

Im crashing out I'm actually crying bc I gained weight what the fuck is wrong with me why can't I control myself as well as I could a few months ago

worst 4na award goes to me!!!! i may be f4sting for 20+ hours everyday but when i break it i overeat!!!! but when i used to stick to the plan i also wasn't losing any w3ight!!! it doesn't fucking matter what i do!!!! fuck me i guess!!!

Ate a bunch yesterday and gained the undereating progress back yk what means 🫦 24 hr fast

Like if I got intervention now for some reason I'd be atypical ana but I assure you if I keep going my intentions will get me to ana and that's the part that they skim around a lot in my book

No fr like I ⭐ved myself to get from 210lbs to 140s and you're separating me lol? Like literally I could still die from malnourishment and not be emaciated. But like how many of the atypical anas are just caught halfway to qualifying as ana???? Frustrating.

I've been so good this past week ish and haven't eaten more than 1k cals a day but YESTERDAY i called at maybe 1k max or 900ish and my stupid ass maintained?????? Huhh??????

Literally according to my textbook I'm not trying hard enough at all

I am not under weight compared to my peers I'm cured guys. Anyway I felt the ED section was lackluster at best. The treatments, sure yeah, but it focused primarily on the end of the disorder cycle? Like ye I recognize most anas only get psych help when they hit rock bottom/get hospitalized but like

read the diagnostic criteria for ana in my Abnormal Psych book made me feel like a fake ana so guess who's cured and not mentally ill and I should keep going!!!

Idk why I specified yesterday, this is a regular occurrence. Hugging,,, holding hands,,,, sitting next to a man and I can feel the warmth of his leg,,,, bc we r sitting so close,,, anyway I'm gonna just stick with imagining these things bc it's not gonna happen and I'm too avoidant

Y'all I've been single my entire life and I fantasized Abt hugging a man yesterday

Mmm first severe thunderstorm of the season

Made me* holy shit why am I typo city rn

Twd mad eme feel like this too 😭 realistically ik it would actually hurt me in the long run bc I'd be weak but like idk then d4ryl could help me better

How did I manage these typos. almost all*, moved*

Purged last night after supper 😛🤡

To be fair almost apocalypse media triggers me bc I want to be small enough to movie quickly and be lifted/carried easily if I'm hurt. What if I get in a wreck and they need to get my unconscious body from the wreckage and I'm too heavy that would be so embarrassing so I have to be skinny duh

I stfg my sports bras all don't fit somehow

Omg so jealous