In Alaska people get on waiting lists for grimaces who have been hit by cars.

I’m just saying, when we hit the, “ah, well. Nevertheless,” moment, we’ll know what fucked up nonsense is at work.

Screenshot from the Simpsons where Mr. Burns’s doctor is demonstrating how Mr. Burns is still alive because all of his illnesses are effectively blocking each other like the Three Stooges trying to pass through a door at the same time. In the show he refers to this as Three Stooges Syndrome.

“We call it the Three Stooges Strategy.”

Same story, but told from the perspective of the woman at the shop who wouldn’t help her because she thought she was poor.

I’m now wondering if Calvin and Hobbes were also listening to the Miami Sound Machine.

I’m assuming this was riding the coattails of the Jake Gyllenhall movie, and it kills me that the prince of Persia was played two white guys with just the whitest names imaginable.

Living in Chicago, we were about 3 years behind schedule and millions of $ over budget trying to build a park on the lake front, so I remember looking at the super skyline in the movie and thinking, “yeah right. Not even with super robots.”

The spike did not forget about you.

Also, "Everyone gets a cool brass spike."

"Taking the black" but it's much looser and swishy.

That underwear is gonna be holey if you keep hand wringing it in the bathroom sink.

What do you mean? They've skipped ahead to the parts where one little, final thing goes wrong and they throw themselves to the ground and flail about until they fall to pieces. They're perfectly suited for both upper management and low level support staff.

They may have even used the raccoon-dick knife.

Everyone gets their chance at renewal in the Carousel.

Oh yeah. This one hurts.

(Snaps fingers)

This isn't the right time for anachronisms

I’m not proud of it but if Forrest Gump started talking to me on a bench I’d have left

But seriously, what the hell is that weird gray slab? Is it even actually gray, or is this a blue & black/white & gold dress situation, and it’s actually a regular colored piece of meat?

Or maybe take a few days.

“Like a gaggle of Irishmen lusting after scrimshaw.”

I initially read that as “Human Resources” and yeah, very obviously that’s not going to improve anything. Get off me, Pat, I can do what I want on my own phone.

Just looking up at the sky and impotently yelling "WE DON'T NEED ANYMORE RAINWATER YOU STUPID FUCKS!"

"Robots replacing workers was a real fear in the 1980s, and this was reflected on screen. But it was felt the automatic breakfast machines of many films were too lighthearted, and it wasn't until 1987's RoboCop that the zeitgeist was captured more accurately."

- I dunno, let's say Leonard Maltin?

Knights in White Gravy

Rich Tip, Poor Tip.

Aw, man. That means we have 34 more Battles of the Isonzo to go! Welp, I guess the only way out is through.

Ricky Tips is a great way for your friends to call you!

“Listen here, Dick Tips,” is either a slightly aggressive away to address a man by the name his father (presumably drunk and giggling) gave him, or an incredible put down from an ‘80s movie.

Yes, everything looks like it’s sex toy adjacent. Or, like, medical equipment adjacent. But my instinct was always to avoid it. Better to not know, even if it ends up being totally harmless.