So many good ones, but there’s truly only one real answer

Fast as a button. Cute as lightning

🎶this is how legends are made🎶

1. One that I imagined
2. Thank you, it's true. Even the scary ones.

Los Angeles Times Parachutist Dies in Fall at Yosemite's El Capitan L.A. Times Archives Oct. 23, 1999 12 AM PT FROM ASSOCIATED PRESS YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK — A parachutist plunged to her death off Yosemite's most forbidding peak Friday during a protest of park rules banning such jumps.

they’re calling it “the least successful protest of all time”

The CD burner generation. That disc is gonna get played a lot so it better have some variety.

Superphone 7800. A calculator desk phone from the 80s

I just bought one. Call me

I'm from Maine I can say for sure that fishermen (fish, lobster, oyster, etc.) are individualistic weirdos with politics to match. One of them running for office was a red flag already. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop on this guy for a while and the nazi shit was 0% surprising.

the oldest elevator in the world has operated continuously for seventy million years

RIP LA Burrito I miss you every day

Microdosing the playoffs

The first movie shot entirely on a back-up camera

I could tell that was a Ratto-ism before I even clicked the article

I know it's a silly jokey joke, but people REALLY need to stop anthropomorphizing their boyfriends. "My boyfriend told me" your boyfriend didn't "tell" you anything. "My boyfriend thinks..." your boyfriend can't actually think or feel; just output a convincing simulation of it based on probability 🙄

it is very telling that “BIOS”, in addition to being an acronym, is also the Greek word for “life”. meanwhile, “UEFI” is, of course, ancient Greek for “unified extensible firmware interface”

Crab Just Happy To Be In Bucket With All His Friends

Crab Just Happy To Be In Bucket With All His Friends theonion.com/crab-just-happy-to-be-in...

These are the 4 things AI can do well:

•Clean up your email inbox (badly)
•Give my shittiest neighbor (Alan) something to talk about at a party
•Tell a 12 yr old to kill himself
•Incinerate a school at 10:16 AM on a Tuesday

You can see why we need to base our economy around it

TECHNO

Let's go pistol shrimps

FUCK THE UNITED STATES AND FUCK ISRAEL

Hey, excited to introduce myself. I’m the guy at YouTube who set it up so when you watch a video labelled “Episode 8” the next video to play is “Episode 11.” I get paid $200,000 a year and my children don’t talk to me

my new AI powered lamp is trained on millions of lamp interactions so it understands that 50% of chain pulls are to turn it on and the other 50% are to turn it off. and honestly, it's a little spooky how it knows exactly what i want almost half of the time

I heard someone give it the alternate title "Explosion At The Wig Factory"

The Independence Day sequel. The message of that movie was "We can just make any fucking garbage and you slobs will go see it!" and I was sitting in the theater thinking "Apparently I will!"

Did you know that at the moment of death your brain releases a pint of canola oil

a photo of a screen with two options. one says ' make it hot sand' with a picture of a sandwich. the other says 'make it cold sand' with a red strikethrough O

*pats belly full of sand*
either way yhou're eatin good

Habibi Funk // حبيبي فنك : Zohra - Badala Zamana (Algeria, late 1970s, sung in Chaoui) YouTube video by Habibi Funk

youtu.be/Z3SImqHN06E?...

Words can hardly express how little I need "full access" to discord

I gotta say, the great thing about being a Pats fan is that this is far and away, like not even remotely close, the least painful Super Bowl loss they’ve ever had.