Prego Pivots From Budget-Tier Pasta Sauce to Small Microphones That Listen to Your Family's Intimate Conversations Prego, the pasta sauce brand, announced a new lid-shaped device designed to record and preserve family dinner conversations.

Every day I read a news story that makes me feel like I need to apologize to at least one insane person in a John 3:16 van and today it’s this one

Comic: Types of Board Game. [Each panel has a person, a person with a ponytail, a person with shoulder-length hair, and a person with a white hat seated around a table with different board game and pieces on top. (1) Boring: PERSON 3: Each turn, roll a die and move your token. Turns proceed clockwise around the table until we all get tired and go home. (2) Abstract: PERSON 1: Each turn, you can place any number of red triangles or blue squares on a hexagon, or move any hexagon to a... (3) Hyperspecific Theme: PERSON 2: It’s October 2, 1814. The Congress of Vienna convenes. You are each in charge of distributing and lighting candles for the opening ball, which was held at these three locations... (4) Overcomplicated: PERSON 4: It’s a cross between *Twilight Imperium* and *Cones of Dunshhire*, but implemented entirely in category theory. Every cone is a monad, and... (5) Cooperative: PERSON 3: We’re working together to sort these decks of cards using only hand gestures. After that, we’ll silently organize my junk drawer. (6) Branded: PERSON 1: You can play as Phoebe, Chandler, Monica, Rachel, Ross, Joey, or, due to an ill-advised tie-in, Goku. (7) Party: PERSON 2: Each of the cards in your hand has a bad word on it. On the count of three, yell the... (8) Social Deduction: PERSON 3: Remember, per our *find the secret murderer* house rules from last week, discovering that a player has committed a real-life murder does *not* count.

Types of Board Game

xkcd.com/3235/

Based on the first 20 mins he'll be on before half time.

⏱️ 22 | TIMMY SAVES ROB STREET'S SPOT-KICK!!! 😍

Rovers 0-0 Lincoln

#DRFC

Absolute comedy Leicester defence for Hull's opening goal.

But they totally deserve it for that time Riyad Mahrez dived to win the penalty against #DRFC that ultimately relegated us from the Championship on the final day.

See you in League One again next year, crisp-makers.

eXistenZ (1999, dir. Cronenberg)

TSL on the bench for Chelsea against Brighton tonight. #DRFC

Comic of the beetle from the cover of Massive Attack's "Mezzanine" meeting the crab from the cover of The Prodigy's "Fat of the Land".

Hi this joke is for me

Today, I have discovered something probably most football fans know: that the top English league goal scorer of all time Arthur Rowley (434 goals) was born exactly 100 years ago, same day as Queen Elizabeth II.

The footage:

I disagree with the flak this app gets. Just don't follow people that make you cringe. Mute them. Follow the funny ones. It's like hanging out in the coloring book section of a bookstore and being like wow this place is for idiots

Every flag should feature a mythical animal. Notice how the roundabouts aren't being painted in Wales? It's because idiots can't draw a dragon.

I'm inclined to think that everyone is lying.

After 11 attempts at using Yoti to verify my age for the Xbox, using all four different methods, no joy. Charged for the card check attempts, though, so that's nice.

Meme with a photo of a fountain drink machine with a cup sitting under two nozzles (red and blue), a hand pushing both buttons at once and liquid coming from both nozzles. The blue (left) drink is labelled "grateful for the insight I have gained from all my experiences" and the red (right) drink is labelled "still thinks some of that sh*t should not have happened". The hand is labelled "me".

the riddler: riddle me this, batman

batman: why would i riddle you? you're the riddler

the riddler: you won't. i'm going to riddle you

batman: ok. you did just say "riddle me" though

the riddler: i said riddle me this. that means i'm riddling you

batman: yeah it straight up doesn't but ok

Simpsons predicting the future again. Bart is sat at school desk looking at Millhouse whilst wearing ridiculous glasses that seem to have inspired the design of modern day pervert glasses

Nobody

Absolutely nobody

Roadrunner:

The Digital Blonde - Electra YouTube video by Bogdan Nicolae Cojocaru

My long term memory must be improving in my old age as I've just ID'd the trance classic I've had as an earworm all day without spending the summer hysterically going through my vinyl. youtu.be/mZwHUlwmB3Q?...

Pipe-smoking Donald Trump and officer Jared Leto are going to arrest the Pop

Stephen Miller’s wife Katie says that liberal men aren’t attractive and it’s like sorry, not all of us can look like your husband, the embodiment of a gigantic Nazi buttplug

It's going to be even worse the next time they appoint Peter Mandelson

There’s little that can reduce you to tears quite so exquisitely as the right piece of music at just the right time.

That said, a well timed football to the testicles does come close though.

Screenshot of a tweet announcing Anna Taylor Joy's wedding describing the groom accurately

Not normally one for celebrity news but this is very accurate

Why do you think Arsenal left it so late this season to do an Arsenal?

me and the boys on the USS Abraham Lincoln eating boiled boot leather and sharing stories about the most Realistic Pussy we've ever seen

celebrating a man city trophy win is like celebrating an american military victory: it’s best if you don’t think about everyone who died in the process

A bad drawing of Gabriel of Arsenal head-butting Manchester City forward Erling Haaland #MCIARS

That was fun