When I'm in a having the slowest machines ever challenge and my opponent is Cengage

To all the adults who made potions in the shower as kids, how's that bartending gig?

Heat

How many skeets are left?

Hehehe, puppy :))))

BREAKING NEWS: LITTLE GUY FOUND IN THE YARD

This is real perl documentation btw

I wish I could be tough and mysterious but I do meow back at cats

Lmk when your over priced self help course drops

Hello widget I would kill and die for you

Surely another glass of prosecco would fix this

Oh that's just a baby,,,

I hope my favorite DOGE employee Big Balls is doing well rn

Me when I'm a mindless neolib so I must tweet stupid shit

This pisses me off to no end, I don't wanna talk to Duck AI™, I need a new tab

Really got our priorities straight at NYT HQ huh?

This picture made me take 3d10 psychic damage

I'm still quite a fan of the X-odus

Worth noting that he didn't gain new voters, the Dems just lost a ton because of a lackluster campaign

Is she even qualified????

Cmon macaque back with another great take

I'm glad to say that I'm better at common sense than a lobbyist because no shit he was gonna go for him

I think you're plenty sophisticated enough for a skirt steak. Maybe even a ribeye

Netflix and I are gonna have issues

Odds are currently +10k that he bites Paul's ear

THAT WAS UNCOMFORTABLE 😭😭😭😭😭I DID NOT NEED TO SEE MIKE TYSON'S CHEEKS ON MY SCREEN FR

Man I'd love to watch the fights if Netflix wouldn't cut out for 5 FUCKING SECONDS GOD DAMN

Y'all I can't wait to see Jake Paul get dropped

EICAR test file moment

Within every "I'm so cooked", there exists a "we're so back". The indomitable spirit of man