one of the great disappointments of this era is that drug abuse doesn't insta-kill you like DARE promised

this is possibly part of the rise in whatsapp-based gig economy terrorism. orgs funnel tiny amounts of cash to the stupid and desperate, who are entirely disposable and have nothing to hand over to the cops but a text thread

is Shohei growing a lil mustache

sick, I love that movie

all Keaton Siebenaler had to say for himself after shooting a two-year-old girl in the head was "I'm screwed"

you might need to start making worse ones then because my decisions are still very bad

Nothing will kill a work of art faster than trying to be "responsive" to fans -- or just listening to them at all. It killed Star Wars, it killed Ted Lasso, it killed Game of Thrones, I personally think it killed Hacks. Don't listen to fans.

black and white drawing of an underwater scene. a large bird sticking it's head into the water, surrounded by shocked fish

WHATS UP YOU WET MOTHERFUCKERS

subscribe to my #tiktoktionary and stay up-to-date on all the emergent terms for body effluvia

If I played for the Orioles I would hit more home runs.

✅ Fans love them.
✅ You look cool when you hit them.
✅ Makes a sick sound.
✅ Helps win games.

Seems like a no-brainer to me.

ad for a black collapsible soft-side sound dampening booth. pictured with a woman inside playing guitar looking strangely ghostly on a barstool because they have made the booth walls slightly transparent where they would cover her as a means to show how a person fits inside

someone busts out a guitar at the party and i go "uh-uh!" and sternly point them to the booth

being able to detect and properly apply context is an important part of reading comprehension

that is not a thing

Have a nice dinner, Gladys

perfect replica of the Parthenon in Nashville? sure!

seems like a job that would necessitate government-provided housing in a walkable neighborhood, for close observation

lean in to her, sniff, and ask her if she has a lot of pets at home

do you think the USPS tootles out to the Hormuz Strait in a rowboat to deliver those packages

This is happening because their agencies are compelling them to do it. It's NFTs again. The big agencies are deeply in bed with Silicon Valley scumbags now and they essentially blackmail their big stars into advertising things like this.

huh! quite the choice you made

cool. so if that's chain retail you're profiting off sweatshop labor. sell any chocolate bars? those are made from cocoa beans harvested by child slaves. sell any gold jewelry? whoa buddy, oof

interesting choice you made!

jazz and jizz are synonyms and the terms used to be used interchangably in the early days of the music genre, because the sound was full of life

TMZ is politically incoherent in a "median voter" kind of way

"no DMs" don't miss

no one sitting down to a meal like that had any choice whatsoever about this war, you stupid, stupid, unforgivably ignorant asshole. servicemembers overwhelmingly enlist because they're poor

what do you think mail is if not logistics

Exactly one year ago today:

brainstorming how to reproduce that design but change it to a middle finger and a dodgers logo

bout to make some unwise credit card charges

I thought it was really tasteful how you riffed on that design for your wedding invitations